Confessions

-I’ve never seen The Notebook.

-If given a choice between reading classic literature or reading ridiculous young adult novels, the young adult novel wins every time.

-I once called a 4 year old student an evil little troll child. This was after he kicked me for the millionth time and I’d spent the past 4 hours wrestling with another child who wanted to scratch my face off. I don’t feel guilty for this at all.

-Wall-E depresses me, and I cried the first time I saw it when I saw all the babies in their lonely little float cribs.

-I have a list of sensory issues a mile long. This list includes Food I Will Not Eat, Clothes I Will Not Wear, and Ways I Will Hurt People Who Tickle Me.

-I continue to teach, even though it continues to try and destroy my soul.

It’s the last one, really, that keeps getting me. Last year, I was not asked back, because I “wasn’t a good fit,” for the school. Which I can buy, because I pretty much hated the school and was bored bored BORED by my class.

I got the job I have now at the last minute, cancelled travel plans that had been made for months, and then promptly got called on the carpet and had my job threatened, so I wasn’t expecting much out of this year.

But, it turned out ok. While the principal never spoke to me and I never got even a tour of the school – so there are still whole areas of the school I’ve never been – nobody told me how to do my job, came in to criticize how I was following the curriculum (by which I mean, no one came into count how many kinds of manipulatives or types of books I had out). And I really like my kids, and the support staff are awesome.

So, to find out, a week after the required date of notification, by which I had already missed the school district’s hiring fair, that, while I wasn’t being not invited back, there would be no position for me to return to as my classroom was being closed, was a shock.

I was initially upset, but I came back the next day laughing.

I don’t know why or how, but I’m not crying and panicking over it.

It happened, it sucks, I just bought a bunch of new classroom stuff out of pocket, which REALLY sucks. But I’m ok.

And I’m applying, again, to more teaching jobs. Where principals will hate me or ignore me, where paras might or might not understand my directions, where parents will jump to conclusions, and we’ll run out of paper, and the kids will glue their fingers together, or cut their friend’s hair with scissors that are supposed to only be able to cut paper.

Better hold on tight – there’s no telling what will happen next.

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