Cannot Brain, Have the Dumb

In a conversation with a good friend, who recently underwent gastric bypass surgery:

“In all the things I read, I kept reading about how these women who had the surgery suddenly started losing their female friends.”

“That’s the dumbest thing Ive ever heard. Admittedly, Ive passed down to you all of the jeans that I can and your ass is now smaller than mine, I do kinda hate you, but in a really loving way.”

“Yeah. But all of my awesome slutty clothes dont fit now. And they’re too big for you. But, I was thinking about that, and, the truth is, I can’t see anything like that happening with my friends.”

“Well, we are fabulous.”

“Yes, you are. And Ive decided its because most of my female friends dont identify themselves by their looks first. They identify by their intelligence.”

“Well, yeah. You can call me ugly and hurt my feelings a little, but if you say Im stupid, Im gonna be pissed.”

“You have very nice cleavage today, by the way.”

“And your brain looks FABULOUS in that outfit.”