Archive for category mawwiage

Hay-Barn-Apple Tree

Posted by on Sunday, 10 January, 2010

When we moved from Alaska, I was hoping we were doing our last move. Less then 6 months later, I knew we weren’t. Brandus hates it here, which has more to do with the school district and the political crap in his school than with hating the actual physical place. Although, there are issues with the physical place as well.

We live on an island, and we love it. We’re only 2 blocks away from the beach or the sound. But the biggest city close to us is Jacksonville, and there is a very large Marine base there. Which means the majority of the people in our area are military – and by extension, the majority are..conservative.

Being conservative (in whatever way, political or whatever) isn’t a problem. What IS a problem is how brandus feels like he has to bite his tongue about his basic beliefs in school. Brandus isn’t Christian. He’s vegetarian. We’re liberal. This makes us very different from most people around here – and so he feels like he can’t even be himself or express himself to his co-workers.

Add to that the fact that, here, if a child, a third grade child, an EIGHT YEAR OLD, fails the end of year exams, they have failed the whole grade. An eight year old. Failing an entire grade the first year they even have to take a high stakes test. It’s ridiculous.

So, are we moving? Maybe. At this point, it’s all down to finances. To move to where we want (which is currently Washington state, where Brandus can work at a BIA school, and I can do..something. I don’t care what) will be very expensive. Like, several thousand. Like five thousand OR MORE. And that doesn’t include our basic costs for the summer.

I think we’ll just..throw all of our stuff away and hitchhike cross country. It would be cheaper, and it would expose Voldemort to a vast array of new and terrifying and dirty adventures!

Do Not Medicate

Posted by on Thursday, 3 December, 2009

So, there is nothing like getting home after work, after trying to call your husband several times, to find him completely zoned on the couch, and for him to tell you:

a) work sent him home at 10 or so. Maybe. He thinks. He’s not really sure.
b) he had to slap himself in the face repeatedly on the 15 minute drive home to keep from going completely comatose
c) he fell asleep on the couch instantly upon getting home, and the next thing he knows it’s 4:30 and he has to go get the kid. THE TIME IN BETWEEN IS COMPLETELY MISSING.
d) brandus might not be dealing too well with some of his parents’ health issues, but he is NEVER TAKING XANAX AGAIN HOLY CRAP.

When it was prescribed to me, the doc warned it might make me sleepy, and to take one on a weekend to see how i did. the first couple of days, I was a little woozy about 30 minutes after I took it, but I was otherwise completely ok. I dont even need it now the zoloft has kicked in, but I keep it in case I’m having a bad day and might need some help to not freak out when dealing with That One at my job.

Brandus looked up some of the common side effects:
changes in sexual desire; constipation; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; increased saliva production; lightheadedness; tiredness; trouble concentrating; unsteadiness; weight changes

Wow. Out of the eleven most common side effects, Brandus got to experience the joy of SEVEN of them.

I don’t know why Im surprised. After all, we are talking about the man who, when I know he is talking cold or flu medicine, I cringe, and wrestle the phone away from him before he can call his best friend in second grade to apologize for that time he made fun of Mickey Mouse.

A Bad Idea

Posted by on Sunday, 31 May, 2009

We have a newish kitty. We’ve had her for a couple of months by now, and the other two are still picking on her a good deal. She spends a lot of time under my chair, hanging out, and grabbing my shoelaces playfully when I walk by.

She comes out at night when I’ve settled into my chair, to drape herself over my arms and my keyboard, because what is a cat for if not to impede typing abilities.

During these lazy times, I have come to the very definite conclusion that Yuki’s nails are very very sharp. I would know, Im generally wearing shorts or thin pajama pants while hanging out in my chair, and she likes to knead.

Last night, I made the mistake of idling mentioning her sharp nails to brandus.

We have one of those Pedipaw things, which are supposed to be better for kitty nails and such. We’ve only really used it once, and before I realized it, he had turned it on, grabbed her claw, and started filing away.

Now, if you’re familiar with Pedipaws, there is this entire “training” you are supposed to do first. This involves things like, “how to get your cat comfortable with Pedipaws.”

Brandus neglected to follow the training.

Five seconds later, I’m sitting in shock in my chair, cat having levitated through my arms and over my head to get away from the spinning file of death, and brandus is rushing to get gauze and rubbing alcohol to keep my finger, thigh, belly, and head from bleeding all over everything.

Blood is a bitch to get out of fabric.

Next time, I’ll wield the weapon of filing terror, and BRANDUS can hold the cat.

Oh, Den (Ok, den, der Ben)

Posted by on Wednesday, 12 March, 2008

Let’s play the movie quote game! Name that movie! For bonus points, give me character names, an essay on their beliefs on green living, and a recipe for your favorite dessert!

1. If you have an ass, I’ll kick it!

2. It’s a break-dancing stripper emergency!

3. “But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.” “And his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.”

4. It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon-scented. This Plan Z can’t possibly fail! Spongebob Squarepants, the Movie – guessed by Emily

I’ll give you a hint – all of these are things I would NEVER HAVE WATCHED. And then? I met Brandus. And he watches them over and over and over and then I find myself laughing and quoting and omgmylife, y’all. *facepalm*

The rest are just for fun.

5. It is not the spoon that bends. It is only yourself. The Matrix – guessed by Shan

6. We’re going to die and I’m wearing my mother’s underwear! Grease 2 – guessed by Mel

7. I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy. Look Who’s Talking – guessed by Emily


9. You’re loose in the house all the time and I sleep just fine!

10. Right now, as we speak, your daughter has entered a hotbed of moral… turpentine.

Also, according to IMDB, “High School Musical” had the working title of “Grease 3.” MY BRAIN, IT BLEEDS.

You Never Know What You’re Gonna Get

Posted by on Thursday, 14 February, 2008

I rarely think about Valentine’s Day. I mean, sure, it exists, and right now I have a Spongebob Squarepants valentine on my desk from the husband, but honestly, it’s not my holiday.

Ive talked about this before, I think. Brandus and I will make dinner, play video games, maybe watch a movie. And that’s about it.

I dont want flowers or jewelry or that nasty box of chocolates (sorry, Forrest). Why would i?

I cant even remember if we did anything for Valentine’s Day the first year we were dating. I CAN tell you that on our very first date, Brandus picked a flower from a bush and tucked it behind my ear. Thankfully, it wasn’t poison ivy.

I can also tell you that he doesnt like other people to give me flowers on Valentine’s Day either. Ask my exboyfriend.

I Shouldn’t Ask

Posted by on Thursday, 10 January, 2008



“…why is there a smiley face drawn on the back of our child’s head?”

“Why climb a mountain?”

“BEACUSE IT’S THERE is not a good enough reason to draw on the baby!”

Homeward Bound

Posted by on Sunday, 6 January, 2008

Brandus and I have been discussing (and discussing and discussing) and we decided quite a while ago that this was to be our last year in Pants, Alaska. We’re tired of village life. We’re tired of not being able to order pizza. We’re tired of having to spent an obscene amount of money to get Lord Voldemort to the doctor when he gets sick.

So, the question on everyone’s mind (and really, everyones. My parents, his parents, my sisters, the cats..) has been, “where are you going?”

Good question.

We talked about it – endlessly. Staying in Alaska in town for another year, moving to Washington State, moving to the South, moving somewhere random in between so long as it wasnt Kansas…good points and bad points to everything.

However! We have, in fact, picked a state. We just need a town.

Anybody know anything about coastal North Carolina?

How We Usually Spend Our Nights

Posted by on Monday, 3 December, 2007

*phone rings*

“You get it.”
“I’m not here.”
“It’s your parents.”


“It’s your sister.”
“It’s probably a student.”
“Maybe it’s the babysitter.”
“I bet it’s that guy who wants to borrow money from you.”
“I said no!”


“You said MAYBE. Which means, ask me again later.”
“I dont want to loan him money!”
“Then tell him NO.”


“Are you going to get that?”
“No, because it’s your parents. You get it.”



The New Dark Lord

Posted by on Friday, 27 April, 2007

Warning: underneath the cut is probably entirely too much TMI, as it involves labor, which involved my vagina to extremes that i dont think it was ready for. Ow.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on Saturday, 21 April, 2007

Im having fun driving my mom crazy, because Brandus and I have named Voldemort, but we arent sharing.


Because its fun.

Well, Im not sharing. Brandus told me a few days ago that he told his ENTIRE CLASS OF FOURTH GRADERS, which annoyed me. But, whatever.

Anyway, I finally told her last night that his name started with a ‘G,’ and that was the only hint she was getting.

She came into the living room today, and asked, “You arent naming him Grover, are you? Or Goober?”

Not Quite a Baby Story

Posted by on Tuesday, 17 April, 2007

So, the whole mess with kidney stones, broken wrists and widom teeth got even more complicated.

On Tuesday, I go in to my routine appointment with my midwife – we discuss how Im feeling, how the kidney pain is, how swollen my feet are and why my face is so puffy.

I feel the need to point out that Brandus is parking the car, and isnt yet upstairs.

They want to check my cervix, because Im 36 weeks, and it will give us a better idea of when Brandus needs to come back. As he is due to be put on a plane at 2pm THAT DAY.


*pause* What?

Umm. You might want to tell Brandus to stay..

Read the rest of this entry »

Countdown to Drinks

Posted by on Friday, 1 December, 2006


finally! one of those damn countdown calenders that doesnt make me want to puke with the cutsey!

not that i drink margaritas, even when non-pregnant. but still, hee!

we did make it to Anchorage, 2 days later than planned, and had a very short, slightly stressful visit with brandus’s parents, during which nothing blew up and no major fights occured, so hey, score!

i did get two very gorgeous pieces of art from them for Christmas, and im thrilled with that. Of course, I couldnt ever think of anything for them to get me, and they wouldnt accept the normal, “pay off the credit card! pay off some of the car! give us grocery money!” which they NEVER accept, because “its not something fun.”

hell, it would be fun for ME, but oh well. very pretty art.

although, people? DONT talk to the belly instead of me, mmkay? And DONT, for heaven’s sake, ignore me, dont refer to me, and instead, just discuss “the baby” like i dont exist.

“Someone needs a new coat! We dont want the baby getting cold!”
“Wow, the baby really likes chocolate dipped strawberries!”


Best Laid Plans

Posted by on Thursday, 23 November, 2006

Well, we had PLANNED to be in Anchorage as of last night, to spend Thanksgiving with Brandus’s folks, who made a special trip up to see us.

But, we got weathered in.

Not snow. Not sleet. Not hail.

Fog. Lots of it. And where there is fog, there is ice.

And so, no flying. And today? It looks clear, but the airline that flies up here has the day off.


So, we’re making rice pudding. And by “we,” i mean Brandus, who is very unhappy and so, is cooking.

Well Fed

Posted by on Thursday, 11 August, 2005

Brandus and i had friends over for dinner last night.

this was a whole new experience, as usually, we are entirely too lazy to clean the house to the degree necessary to have people over.

however, brandus had yesterday off.

i walked into my apartment yesterday, and wondered if i was on the wrong floor. the house is SPOTLESS. he cleaned everything, including the kitty tower.

im currently overwhelmingly in love with my husband, as he then went on to COOK.

brandus has chef’d in several resturants, but he rarely cooks in a big way, unless we have company, and then he doesnt cook..he COOKS.

we had:
bruschetta with parm toasties
stuffed artichoke hearts
miztha cheese and brown butter spagetti (like the stuff at the Old Spagetti Factory)
baked peaches in a sweet wine sauce

i love having people over. we always eat so well! last time around, it was brandus’s geek friends, and it was a middle eastern feast!

except the bastards didnt save me any falafel.

Three OH!

Posted by on Saturday, 23 July, 2005


Who’s birthday?


How old is he?

1. brandus went back to school to get his elementery education certification
2. he currently has a 4.0.
3. im really proud of him
4. he (almost) always wears a ball cap.
5. he likes loud tshirts. preferably things with flames.
6. he loves bad horror movies, and is working on owning all the Jason movies
7. he loves spicy foods
8. he puts tabasco sauce on EVERYTHING.
9. including mac and cheese and biscuits and gravy
10.he wants to get his PhD someday
11.but he hasnt decided on the exact program of study yet
12.he has told me he will support me in whatever i want to do.
13.he was ASKED, specifically, by a professor, to teach gifted and talented kids a couple of weekends.
14.he was very giddy when he told me., jumping up and down giddy. was very cute.
17.he hasnt yet started reading Half Blood Prince.
18.but keeps trying to surprise me into accidently dropping plot stuff. hasnt worked.
20.he loves embarassing me in public. waving at people we dont know.
22.or yelling things out of the window at people.
23.he owns (and wears) a kilt. my parents disbelief, this is not my fault.
25.he also owns a sword.
26.he likes to carry the sword around when he is wearing the kilt.
27.really, he picked the kilt out all by himself.
28.he likes cute in it though.
29.a tall bald man in a kilt, carrying a broadsword that is nearly as tall as i am.
30.we went to the Faire today to celebrate.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDUS! I hope it was fabulous (regardless of the weird guy downstairs), and that you enjoyed your homemade double decker cookie cake! (seriously, this thing is HUGE. and HEAVY.)

Seriously, you people have got to stop getting older. thinking of this many things about someone is HARD.

Wedding Gifts

Posted by on Friday, 6 May, 2005

We have recieved a number of wedding gifts that we have not yet (nor might ever) used.

Some of these things were quite expensive, and most are very nice.

we just dont have much call for using a Waterford crystal rose bowl.

when we got it, i joked with my mom about using it to hold candy.

so, really, it should thrill her that we actually used it.

Of course, she might not be thrilled that we put the fish in it while brandus cleaned the aquarium, but what she doesnt know wont hurt her.


Posted by on Friday, 29 April, 2005

You know, its funny how things work out sometimes.

Especially when it has to do with your job and your stress level.

Especially when you are questioning your choice to be a teacher.

Especially when you are questioning your plans for next year.

Especially when you find out you only have a job left for one month anyway, due to budget cuts.

And then, even though you are upset at having the choice taken away from you, your husband throws you a party, with balloons and ice cream and pizza and streamers, just to say, “Congratulations on your new start.”

Its funny how that works.


Posted by on Tuesday, 5 April, 2005

Brandus and i found a new apartment!

We were planning on moving out of the ghetto anyway, so when i called our realtor and found out our landlord had quit the day before, and we were living in one of the properties that was in controversy, we decided to step up our timetable a bit.

Seriously, i called and they were like, “she quit yesterday! where are you? what?” so yeah. it isnt pretty there right now.

Anyway, new apartment! Brandus had today off from work, so he drove around and called everyplace that he passed that wasnt in the ghetto and looked affordable.

And he, in his brightness, located us a lovely place to live!

its THREE bedrooms! (says i, “is shan moving in?” he just laughed in a panicked sort of way) its not the most wonderful apartment in the whole world, although it is completely cute, but its in a good neighborhood with NO reports of car breaking into, quiet, about 3 blocks from my work (even though i dont think ill be there much longer, but whatever), and RIGHT NEXT TO a park with a lake and a walking track!

and its CUTE! and it has three bedrooms, so one is a bedroom, one will be brandus’s meditation room, and one will be my playroom!

and we have the next few weeks to actually work on moving, so we dont have to rush and get moved in one day.


Like Audrey Hepburn

Posted by on Wednesday, 23 March, 2005

Ok! so, Rome post #1

Pics not currently included, but will be going back in and adding them later.

First off, we’ve been back since late Friday night, but my brain has been a little scattered with jetlag and the stress of having to go back to work (blergh).

Read the rest of this entry »

In Which I Grovel

Posted by on Friday, 28 January, 2005

Sometimes..ok, often, i can be a ditz.

And this week, i have been uber ditzy.

When Brandus called me to tell me that he had gotten into his Post-Bach Elementary Ed program, I was having a bad day.

So instead of telling him I was proud of him, i told him, “I told you so,” came home, and grumped around for awhile.

And then i was tired, and then was Jesus, and then more grump.

So ive basically sucked. So here is my proclamation of my husband.

My very brilliant husband has been accepted into a program that is very difficult to get into. He was convinced he would not get in, based on GRE scores, as well as the fact he hadnt sent in all his letters of rec, as well as general fear of bad grades that haunted him one year in undergrad.

It didnt help that he was scheduled to retake the GRE on the Monday we headed back to Georgia for my grandmother’s funeral. The due date for it was the next day, so basically, he missed it.

And so he changed his major and started focusing on Counseling instead.

And then he gets a phone call from the head of the department, asking, “what, did you change your mind?”

They accepted him based on his enthusiasm and his willingness to pursue his goals no matter what.

And Im really proud of him.

Go shower him with congratulations in his email here.