Words of Loathing

I am truly, wickedly adoring reading this thread at The Toast – it’s all about books you HAAAAATE. Now, the problem is, while many of the hated books I agree with or have never read due to general apathy, many of the ones people are talking about hating are ones I LOVE – The Little Prince? 1984? HOW CAN YOU HATE JACOB HAVE I LOVED?

I feel so loved to know that I am not the only one who didn’t just dislike The Scarlet Letter, OTHER PEOPLE WANTED TO SHRIEK WITH RAGE AT IT TOO! It was written as a newspaper periodical, so dude got paid by the word –so even though i know WHY it takes him 13 paragraphs to describe someone answering the damn door, it does not mean that I have to ENJOY it. Other people understand and can articulate my hatred of The Mists of Avalon! Hated! When someone finds out they read fantasy they almost always ask me if I’ve read this! I read it as a teenager and it was terrible and then the christians made everything horrible the end! GAH. And THEN I found out the author was a child molester?! WHAT.

I also hate The Stranger. H.A.T.E Nothing happens, it doesn’t make a speck of sense, and I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I HATE IT. Ironically, I got the highest grade I had gotten on a paper in my AP English class for my essay on this book. Which is hilarious, because i didn’t understand the story or what the essay was supposed to be about, so it was all complete bullshit.

Tuesday’s with Morrie was a bookclub assignment for me, and everybody else talked about how they luuuuuuved it, and I was sitting there looking at them like they were made of vomit because i can still not get over how the author describes the “happy way” food fell out of Morrie’s mouth while Morrie was eating because no one had ever taught the dying asshole not to talk with his mouth full and it is the GROSSEST THING and UGH.

Mercedes Lackey and the Vanyel books SHOULD have been good – a gay protagonist in a fantasy novel? SIGN ME UP. But he was SO WHINY and all OH POOR ME, and I was GLAD when he died. GLAAAAAD.

The general hatred of anything and everything Cassie Clare thrills my little black heart, as I was in the Harry Potter fandom when her fanfic plagiarism first came to light and if you don’t think she hasn’t blatantly stolen material and stuck it in her crappy books you are WRONG.

The first book, though? My very very first deeply hated book?

Forever, by Judy Blume.

I read it in high school, probably, because I wanted to know why it was so controversial.

(keep in mind that I was a very precocious reader, and had previously read very enlightening things that featured much much of the sex, so while I knew the very basics, I was still very innocent about such things)

It’s controversial because it’s about teenagers, sex, and birth control. Alright, awesome, a book that deals with those things, good info to have, fabulous, let’s go.

I got about halfway through the book before whatsherface stops whatshisname from sexing her up, and you know what that douche does? He WHINES about how much it hurts to be turned on and then she doesn’t follow through.

I might have been innocent but that is still BULLSHIT and I threw that piece of shit across the room.

HATE.

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