As a kid, I remember getting a new Scholastic book order form every month and spending hours pouring over it. First, I’d make a list of every single thing in it that I might possibly like, with the cost in its own column, laboriously adding up every single penny to see how much it came to. Then I had to cross out books I didn’t HAVE to have and subtract and refine, until I was under the budget the parents had given me for books that month – and I had to have a budget, as I swallowed books whole.
My point is, even as a kid, I was a planner. I was frugal and careful with money, but more importantly, I PLANNED.
Then I grew up and met a guy who wouldn’t know what a calender was if it bit him on the ass. A man who didn’t plan, who thought the highlight of fun was randomly taking off to places unknown at a moment’s notice.
I married him. And my planning went down the drain. We moved to Alaska because he thought it sounded fun and North Carolina because we threw a dart at a map and back to Colorado for no readily apparent reason, all in a ten year time span.
And now I’m buying a house with him. And while waiting and waiting for our final approval and our closing date, we distracted ourselves and ignored the deadlines and made no plans.
With the final result that we are closing on our new house tomorrow and haven’t put a single thing in a box. We haven’t thrown away the Happy Meal toys that have accumulated, donated the weird decorations my mother insists on sending, or even packed up the summer clothes that are thrown in the top of Voldemort’s closet that might or might not fit when it gets warmer.
We haven’t planned or prepared at all, and strangely, I’m ok with that.
I’m sure my mind will change when I’m unpacking our dishes and find hamster food in the same box, Brandus can’t find more than one pair of pants for work, and our newly bought laundry detergent goes missing until next fall, when we’ll find it in the bottom of a box of books and sewing supplies.
But for now, I’m content to sit in my pajamas on a day off, and make a list of things that need to get done. And maybe tomorrow I’ll call on them. Or maybe I’ll take a nap, and ignore for a little bit more.