Letters to You

Dear PTB of Lost,

I am sueing you for emotional trauma.

Hate,
alia

Dear Teacher Whom I Am Forced to Share a Room With,

No, your students do not respect you. I do not respect you. You let your students walk all over you, and then WHINE ABOUT IT TO ME.

Shut Up,
alia

Dear Students,

No, you may not go to the bathroom or the vending machines. Lunch is in 5 minutes, you will be fine.

Also, Psychotic Student, you are right, i dont care. Nonetheless, saying (repeatedly) “I’m stupid!” and “I’m going to kill myself!” in very dramatic ways is a very quick way to get yourself put back in psych care. Also, please do not talk about your hamsters. Ever. I know what happened to your last one, and it really creeps me out to think you might have another dead one in your backpack. Please do not tell me if you do.

Eeek,
alia

Dearest Beloved Husband,

The toilet paper roll is not broken. Nor is the lightswitch.

I sound like my father, and I’m blaming you.

Off/On,
alia