Little Miss Muffet

Yesterday, for me, both began and ended with spiders.

First thing in the morning, I ran out to go to the post office. Headed down the outside stairs and walked straight into a huge spider web.

Fortunately, there was no spider.

And then, last night, at 9 pm, I found myself crouching over, squinting at a spiderweb and calling Brandus on my cell phone to come rescue me. At the top of those same stairs.

I had left the house at 7 to go see “Julie and Julia.” When I left, there was no web. When I came back, two hours later – two hours of HARD POURING RAIN – there it was. I barely saw it, at first, and I didn’t realize how big it was until Brandus came out with a flashlight. A huge web, across not the stairs, but the BALCONY. And smack dab in the middle, where, in the dark, I had merely seen a dark shape I knew I didn’t want to walk into, there was a huge spider.

Brandus and I both agreed she was lovely, and that it was a shame to ruin the web she worked so hard on, but I kind of needed to get into my house, and there is ONLY ONE DOOR.

Brandus brightened, as he’s insane, and he went to get a bowl and a lid, so he could catch her.

What followed took about five minutes of careful maneuvering of him with the bowl and lid, and me attempting to shine the flashlight in such a way that he could see where she was so he could grab her.

As he finally went to close the lid, I guess he missed, as he suddenly yelped and threw the whole thing down the stairs, barely missing me.

At which point he grabbed my arm, and said, “Run!”

Not one who particularily enjoys having things crawling on her, especially if I don’t know if they will bite, I ran.

The bowl and the lid are lying haphazardly on the ground outside, and I’m thinking of staying off the stairs today. I live on the second floor, but I’m sure I can make it in and out of the window, if I can just find a ladder.

She might be holding a grudge.