Archive for category goat roping

To the Moon, Alice!

Posted by on Monday, 21 June, 2004

Ok, so i finally got unlazy (thats not true, im actually procrastinating about master’s classes homework), and uploaded honeymoon pics.


while at some point soon i will have a graphics heavy page with pics and descriptions only, for now we have a test description of honeymoon with links to pics. hopefully, whatever the hell i just said made sense.

text and stuff is behind the cut.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on Friday, 21 May, 2004

Is there such a thing as Bridal Tourettes? Cause i have it.

the past week, i have been grading papers, creating finals, taking finals, entering grades into the computer, and my kids are really starting to get weirded out whenever i stop what im doing and yell, “aisle runner!” or “flower girls!” or “strapless bra!”

Dear Whoever

Posted by on Thursday, 13 May, 2004

Dear People I work with,

Believe it or not, i do have many many things to do today. So if you happen to walk by while i am swearing under my breath and desperately searching through files and paperwork, or rapidly entering information into the computer and deliberately not speaking to you, do not assume that i want to talk about The Wedding.

Yes, im getting married.
its on the 29th. yes, that is only about two weeks away.
we are going to disneyworld for our honeymoon.
the dress is very pretty.
colors? like i care.
yes, flowers are nice.

amazingly enough, my every brain cell is not obsessed about my upcoming nuptials. im excited, sure. but i am also creating finals, finishing 4 IEPs and assorted paperwork, canceling appointments, tracking down kids who arent going to graduate, and holding last minute meetings. not to mention finishing 2 major projects for my grant program.

but for heavens sake, can i get ONE DAY where people dont insist on interupting me to ask about the wedding?

just one?

Hand Cramp

Posted by on Tuesday, 30 March, 2004

I am offically out of thank you cards. does that mean i dont have to write any more?

ive been mainly working on the linen shower cards, and because there are so many, ive been doing them at odd times. like in my team taught class while the other teacher is lecturing. or in the MH classroom while im on duty in there.

as ive written more and more, my sense of humor gets more frayed.

i was trying to find a nice way to thank the woman who gave me the ugly towels with brown fringe, and all the paras were trying to help me out.

“thank you for the unusual towels”, “i will use them often when i spill things.”

and my favorite,
“i will think of your kindness everytime i use your towels to give my cat a bath.”


Survival of the Fittest

Posted by on Sunday, 21 March, 2004

Well, i survived. yesterday, when i almost fell asleep in my dinner but insisted i still wanted to go see “Hello Dolly,” i wasnt sure i would make it.

lingerie shower was fun. it was myself, Shan, Julie, Christy, Michelle, and a couple of moms. so not too many people, but good food, yummy dessert, and prizes!

nothing dirty, unless you count the leopard print thong that Shan’s little sister sent. everything else was mostly pajamas. and some were extremely cute.

im packed, and waiting for mom to finish getting ready so we can head to the airport and i can LEAVE.

and i only packed my new bed stuff from the tons of prizes currently taking over the dining room here, so my new comforter, my mattress pad, my duvet cover, sateen sheets, and the bedskirt. and i have no clue why im taking the bedskirt.

i also got alot of towels, including a really scary cream colored set that has brown fringe. lots of guest towels, some new pillows, lots of placemats and napkins, and many many fancy guest towels that i cant honestly see myself ever using, unless i move to Stepford and get turned into Dell.

but my mother would never wear a long skirt and a big hat. shes a much more fashion forward model of the Wife.

Dress Mess

Posted by on Tuesday, 16 March, 2004

would anyone like to tell me what completely sadistic person invented control top pantyhose that goes all the way up to the bottom of your bra?

more importantly, why am i being forced to wear them under my dress?

“You wont have any bulges, dear.”



Posted by on Monday, 15 March, 2004

For the record? my mother has been ordering me to avoid all kinds of foods, due to the fact she *knew* that my dress was going to be too small.

its too big.


Dumb Jokes From Georgia

Posted by on Tuesday, 23 December, 2003

Screech, you cant elope!

Who are you calling a cantalope, you melonhead?

-Saved by the Bell, Beldin and Screech


2 cows are grazing in a field.
One looks up and asks, “have you heard about this mad cow disease?”
The other replies, “yeah. its really scary.”
First cow, “Makes me glad Im a penguin.”

Anyway, i arrived in georgia on sunday, and so far, its been crazy. my grandma is still sick, (she also asked me to be in her wedding – i told her she could be in mine, seeing as im pretty sure she’s not getting married), one of my good friends just had a nervous breakdown..literally, and my mom is going to spontaneously combust from stress here fairly soon.


If im not back with amusing stories in the next day or my dad’s opinion that i should become a housewife so that brandus can come home to a clean house and dinner everyday..or something…as well as the fact that my parents are more prejudiced than i remember…Have a good holiday! whichever one you choose to celebrate!

Turkey Lurkey

Posted by on Monday, 1 December, 2003

The whole darn thing probably started Tuesday…that was when my mom, sister, and brother-in-law arrived in denver. i was busy trying to get all work done, make pies, take a shower, pack, shove everything into my car..etc. you get the picture.

Tuesday was ok.

Wednesday, we went shopping. But not really. two sisters, mom, and myself, went to look at the bridesmaids dress i like. it has a massive price tag, so we went to look at it so we can tell the seamstress how to make it. ive seen it 3 times in person now, and have multiple pictures. the sisters have seen it, even momhas seen it twice now. so why the extra trip? good question. let me know if you figure it out.

then, we stop at the store next door so melisa can get new was mom’s idea. so while melisa is forced to examine ugly granny underwear by the overenthusiastic storeclerk, i amuse myself with the hats.

and oh. the hats.

Big!Gold!Hats! with veils! and sequins!


we get back, i settle down at my laptop (dragged to denver for this purpose), and start my ugly Masters program final project.

irritation. distrations. procrastination.

natalie and dave go see some family he has in the area, and melisa, mom, and me are left to cook.

hey, i CAN cook. i just generally choose not to.

sweet potato souffle, cornbread stuffing, sticky cake, green bean casserole…

lots of food.

mom manages to give us at least 4 different recipes for sticky cake icing while we are making it. why? because she doesnt believe the one we have used for the past 2 years is the right one…no, thats not it. she doesnt believe the one we’ve used for the past 2 years is a real recipe for icing.

the sticky cake turned out fine. daddy got in late wednesday, and insisted on a tour of melisa’s house at 1 am. i was told this, as i was asleep in melisa’s house at 1 am. so i have no idea if he was really there or not.

Thanksgiving morning. brandus arrives, breakfast was had…brandus and i go over to his grandparents house for our first thanksgiving.

you read that right. our first thanksgiving dinner.

brandus and dad snipe at each other for a while, while his mom and i ignore them both…eat. his mom made a yummy spinach artichoke thing that would have been lovely as a dip if she had blended it.

we sit around for about an hour..make our excuses..brandus’s dad looks irritated that we arent staying for longer…

we go back to mel’s and we get to cook the same foods all over again..eating…cleanup…this is sounding remarkable familiar…

two thanksgiving dinners folks. only ours was better, cause we had alcohol.


Oh no. Please dont let it be Friday.

The parents are meeting tonight. for the first time.

we arrive at the resturant, after a good deal of fam walks in, and his family is all facing the wall away from us.


a THREE HOUR dinner. THREE HOURS. the whole time, we are waiting for his dad to say something stupid, my father to get offended, and the whole thing to go to hell in a handbasket.

but we survived. the parents think each other as “nice”. baby pictures were shown, dirty and insulting sign language was passed between myself and sisters, brandus looked like he would like to faint..etc.

but its DONE. and they never have to speak to each other again except at the wedding.

thank God, Buddha, and any other deity, that it is OVER.

Tea and Scones

Posted by on Wednesday, 5 November, 2003

This saga starts a few night ago..Sunday night, to be exact.

Let us follow our heroine, as she leaps from the shower to grab the ringing phone.

“Hello?” she gasps, and only then realizes whose number was on the caller ID.

*scary music plays*

“Hi alli! This is your mother…why arent you answering your phone?”

“Because I didnt want to get electrocuted and die.”


“I was in the shower, Mom.”

“Oh. Well, I think we need to talk about The Wedding.”

A vague feeling of dread overcomes our heroine, and a shiver runs up her back. Part of the shiver is from the fact she has no clothes on, but most of it involves the dread she always feels when her mother wants to Talk About The Wedding.

“I think we might have a problem with the location.”

“Why? I thought we already had the Farm booked for the night. Doesnt that include downstairs for the ceremony?”

“Well..Im just not happy with it.”

alia’s eyes begain to cross in frustration, as this is a familer conversation..she begins to tune out..

“I’m not sleeping well…I wake up at night and cant get back to sleep because Im so stressed out over The Wedding..The Farm might be pretty, but the Church is so much prettier…your dress deserves to have a setting that really shows it off…we can get candles for the alter..I went to a wedding at the Church last week and they did…What if it rains at the Farm?..We dont have a tent..and everyone Ive talked to says that tents are a big hassle..*sniffs, gets choked up* Im just trying to make this wonderful for you…I would be so much more comfortable if we did this at the Church…”

alia gives in. the guilt trip has spoken.

2 Nights later, alia calls back. by this point, she has discussed the problem with both sisters, the fiancee, and the best friend. varying advice is given..from saying “NO!” to sweet talking.

No one could have predicted what came next.

all alia wants to do is relax and watch Finding Nemo..Brandus insists on her calling her mother..

filled with terror, she calls…and…..her father answers.

Mom isnt home.

Daddy understands.

Daddy thinks the Farm would be pretty.

Daddy will talk to Mom for Alia.

Alia is filled with relief..even knowing that the father, in all his infinite wisdom, might have no effect on the stubborn mother.


Posted by on Sunday, 27 July, 2003

So my sister natalie came into town this weekend to help me find a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses and stuff. and my other sister melisa lives in denver, so it was family reunion time with lots of white dresses included. it was fun, i found some pretty stuff, but i dont know if its “the one”, you know? i think this is it, but its hard to tell from the picture. the bodice has pretty ivory embroderiery and stuff.. opinions?

and, my mom called. My grandfather was nice enough to buy me some old bride magazines from a flea market. wasnt that nice? and then, he tore the articles on sex out of them and threw them away. LMAO!!

other than that, Tricia, my friend who owns Paper Treasures, the stamp store i hang out at and teach some classes at, wants me to buy the business from her…umm…help?

Going to the Chapel

Posted by on Friday, 18 July, 2003

i updated Marry Me again. you should be impressed, i am still a procrastinator, which is why i have an assignment for one of my masters classes due by midnight, and i working on the Spiral. umm..oops?

in other news, i just saw Pirates of the Caribbean, and its was pretty damn good. did i mention Orlando Bloom is a complete hottie? Johnny Depp is a complete freak in this movie, in an exceptionately fun way. he enters the movie on a sinking ship, and its just more fun from there.

Kira Knightly freaked me out a little, and it took me forever to figure out why the hell she looked like Natalie Portman from certain angles.. and then i realized someone had to play the role of Sabe in Phantom that explains that.

Brandus is trying to convince me to well as actually use capitalization and punctuation on her web site. jury is still out on the elopement idea, but there will be no changing the way i type, thank you.