Context? What Context?

Emails I have both sent and received today, without explanations:

—–

I think i’ve got it bad, here. I was watching his live Unti Unti
performance from the AAA in Dome tour and thinking about how hot he
was…and then i realized he was wearing GOLD PANTS and a trucker hat
COVERED IN SEQUINS and i had to go sit in the corner and cry for a
while about how confused my fashion sense has gotten from Japan.

Im sure it’s all your fault. Im positive.

—–

EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF BEDTIME STORIES ARE WE TALKING HERE?! BECAUSE IF
IT’S MOTHER GOOSE, YOU AND I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT KIND OF BEDTIME
STORIES ARE APPRORIATE FOR 23-YEAR OLD JAPANESE HOTTIES

—–

oh god. OH GOD I KNOW. He looks like a rainbow glittered unicorn
THREW UP ALL OVER HIM. IN STRIPES. *cries* WHAT WAS ANYONE THINKING,
DRESSING HIM LIKE THAT.

—-

holy crap, im moving in 2 weeks. *panics*

—-

>>Or to become completely convinced that they are one big happy gay orgy.

If they arent, im going to be reallyreally disappointed.

—-

*cries* I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! i would do a strip tease for
your spam filter, but i dont think that would work! also, im at
work!

—-

The exchange went something like this:

C: What was that about?

R: It’s, uh, nothing.

C: (to the rest of the office) I looked over at her and she’s doing this muscle pose *does pose*.

R: It’s difficult to explain.

C: How can it be difficult to explain?

Others: What were you doing?

R: It was nothing.

C: She doesn’t want to tell me about it.

R: It’s difficult to explain.

C: Well, let’s start with you were feeling muscular …

R: *blushes*

—-

*cries laughing* OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Posted in geek | Comments Off on Context? What Context?

I Can’t Wait to Tell My Dad

A few weeks ago, I turned in an application for a proofreading job for an online publishing company.

I heard back from them today, and starting in June, Ill be expected to proof stories from 20,000 to 60,000 words a month.

Of gay erotica.

This is gonna be awesome.

Posted in *poke* | Tagged | 8 Comments

Ways I Don’t Like to Get Home

1. Walking into the door to see MY CHILD screaming and covered in his own blood

NOT COOL UNIVERSE. TOTAL FAIL.

His bottom lip has a huge chunk out of the inside, and the inside of his top lip got cut pretty bad, and we are now down one dinosaur outfit. Im still not entirely sure what happened, and Im not sure the babysitter knows either – she says he was walking around his bouncer and slipped and fell – but he’s done some decent sized cuts, and Im not sure he would have fallen far enough to do that much damage from just his feet. Im worried he climbed in the chair and fell off onto his face.

Posted in voldemort | Tagged | 4 Comments

ONE!

April 23, 2007:

April 23, 2008:

Happy birthday, buddy!

Posted in voldemort | Tagged | 7 Comments

Playpens of DOOOOOOM

For some odd reason that we are desperately trying to figure out so we can reproduce the experience, the child sleeps REALLY WELL when placed in his playpen.

Out of sheer frustration when he wouldnt sleep and wouldnt calm down and all he wanted to do was climb on our heads or scream from his cosleeper, brandus chucked the Dark Lordling into the playpen in the den and climbed back into bed. Seeing as it was 5 am, I winced and prepared myself for the screaming.

..Which lasted about 5 seconds, and then cut off abruptly.

OH GOD THE CATS ATE THE BABY TO MAKE THE BAD NOISE STOP.

We peek out…and kiddo has his face in the mattress, his butt in the air, and a peaceful expression of FINALLY THOSE IDIOTS LET ME SLEEP.

*blink*

‘Kay.

So, last night, after he ate but didnt want to settle back down around 2, i took him and put him in the playpen.

He cried, and then screamed, and i turned around from closing the door and said, “this will never work..wait…why isnt he crying?”

Now, the not crying isnt the point of this post.

the point of this post is that i know for a fact that he woke up 2 more times to eat…but neither Brandus nor I remember going to get him out of the playpen…and i fed him in bed…

Did he levitate? HIS POWERS ARE FINALLY MANIFESTING.

THE WORLD WILL NEVER RECOVER.

Posted in voldemort | Tagged | 3 Comments