Places I want to go:
–The Unclaimed Baggage Center in Alabama, to buy back to 800 books I’ve left behind on planes.

Things I Need to Deal With:
-The bird behind the dryer before the cats manage to actually catch it
Bird successfully dealt with. Although now we need new tubing for the dryer vent. Unsure whether torn by cats or bird.

Things That Are Awesome:
-Baby Max being born to Rachel and L of Yestertime. He’s gorgeous!

-A complete list of what Pinky is pondering from Animaniacs/Pinky and the Brain.

Personal favorite: “Me and Pippi Longstocking? What would the children look like?”

-Mini Warblers from Japan! I AM DEAD FROM CUTE.

-BARAK FUCKING OBAMA*

–Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance by Lois McMaster Bujold being announced. WE’RE GETTING AN IVAN BOOK! Bad news: It doesn’t come out until NOVEMBER. I shall weep.

-Felicia Day looks really hot and confuses my heterosexuality. And is a total geek, which is why I love her.

-Double stuff Oreos.

*Incidentally, when my parents were out visiting, politics unfortunately came up. We disagree, let’s leave it at that. My mother proceeded to inform me that a friend of a friend of a friend lived in DC and hung around the higher ups for some reason, and friend-of-friend-of-friend says no one likes the Obamas. They have no friends. And Michelle and Barack don’t spend any time together. 1) I doubt it. 2)Did she really think this non relevant information would trump all of the awesome? I don’t understand my parents.**

**They have THREE CHILDREN. All three children support Obama. And yet they still try to tell me why I’m wrong. Most of these reasons involve the fact they don’t like him.

Y’all, seriously, my kid is FIVE. How the heck did that happen? Yesterday, he was a toddler with a pancake on his head, and today he is FIVE.

My parents came up and a party was had. A grand total of 3 out of 12 kids showed up, but we expected very few, because people out here don’t seem to GO to kid’s birthday parties or even bother to RSVP. Not that I’m bitter. But he had a blast with the kids who did come, and had a great time suckering his grandparents into doing stuff for him that Brandus and I refuse to do – like read 8 books in a row or walk up and down the stairs forty-eleven times.

And he did get a present. We got him a fish tank. Which he ADORES, and he loves his fish, and it is so much of a better gift than yet another giant piece of plastic crap toy to take over his room.

At least, I thought so. But then yesterday, when I was teaching him how to feed the fish and going over the rules (1. Dont touch the fish. 2) Hands out of the tank. 3) Just a pinch of food), we had to add a new rule.

4. After the fish die, we do NOT cook them and eat them.

I’ve gone to two movies this weekend, and frankly, I barely remember enough about them to share. Even though I really wanted to do a Heroine Content review of Lockout – which is a movie about explosions, jail breaks, and snarky heroes – all in space. There were some goods and some bads and a whoooole heck of a lot of bad science. Hint: YOU CANNOT JUMP “DOWN” INTO A SPACE STATION WHILE IN ZERO G. THERE IS NO DOWN. And also, it was ALMOST a complete Bechdel fail, regardless of how much I liked Maggie Smith’s character, Emilie.

I took myself to see Mirror, Mirror too, which was cute and left me grinning in several places. In the beginning, Julia Roberts’ evil queen is introducing the characters, and when she talks about the parents naming the princess “Snow White,” she says something about it being the most pretentious name they could think of, and I had to snort into my popcorn. It did turn the Snow White fairy tale on its head a little bit, but I wanted it to go farther. I wanted her to like the prince but fall for one of the dwarves, for example. Chuck had an amazing smile, Half Pint had a total crush on Snow, and even Butcher showed her a soft spot or two. But it’s been pointed out to me that I’m weird, so. In good news, Bechdal PASS in multiple ways!

I will try and type up some of what I enjoyed and what I found problematic about Lockout. And why so little of it made any sense, but I didn’t care because explosions! in! space!

Dear charities,

I appreciate the sudden influx of things entreating my money now that we own a house. I like the fact I will never have to buy address stickers, for one thing. And the dimes from March of Dimes are really cool, too. Voldemort thinks getting money in the mail is the COOLEST THING EVER.

And no, we won’t return the dimes. But thanks for asking. We also won’t send you any of our very limited money.

I figure, there are how many people in the US? 5 million or so? And even if you only send dimes and address stickers to 5000 of them, that’s at least 5 hundred bucks you’ve just sent out.

And if you have 5 hundred bucks to burn sending people dimes, YOU DONT NEED MY DAMN MONEY.

We’re keeping the dimes. And i’m giving kiddo a whole stack of the address stickers for his penpal kit. And we’re donating to Smile Train, which just sends us a thank you note.

Sincerely,
Stop burning your money

“You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice.”

Hazel Grace is a 16 year old girl with terminal cases of both cancer and irreverence, and I’m fairly sure I lost my heart to her while reading John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars. It’s witty and smart and draws you in even while you know there is no way a novel about a kid with terminal cancer can end in anything other than tears for one reason or another.

Hazel is hilarious, with subtle humor and unexpected insights, with a healthy dose of dark humor over the fact that she and most of the people she knows at the cancer support group are dying. Augustus is a boy she meets at group, and he is, of course, witty and charming and gorgeous and very interested.

At heart, it’s a love story – because what story isn’t, really? But it’s a love story with an uncertain ending both because of the terminal diagnosis, and because Hazel’s own favorite book ends in the middle of a sentence, which leaves the reader nervously wondering if John Green would be cruel enough to do the same. It’s funny and quotable and heartbreaking, and will leave you wiping your eyes and looking at the world differently. And that’s pretty much the highest recommendation I can give any book.

“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”

Disclaimer: BlogHer sent me this book and paid me to read it and overshare my opinion. Dream job, y’all. Book club discussion about The Fault In Our Stars is here, and you should check it out.