I just finished reading pamie’s book, why girls are weird, and i think i need to cut myself off from books i can heavily identify with.

no, i havent been posting about an imaginary boyfriend, or getting fanmail. occasionally, ill still get a new name to put on thesaber, but thats about it.

maybe its that i know who the author is and i have been reading her Gilmore Girls recaps on twop every damn week for the past 3 years.

but i found myself wanting to call my dad when Anna’s talking about her dad dying. Anna talks about teaching her baby sister how to ride her bike, and i remember when my oldest sister tried to teach me how to roller skate. she was older, and i was scared and fell alot, and she got frustrated and gave up.

i think i must be a frustrating person.

im kinda feeling all nostalgic and stuff now. so heres a bunch of random crap i remember from being a kid.

i always watched Dukes of Hazzard with my grandaddy. we also watched wrestling. we thought it was funny when they hit each other with chairs and phones. he used to call my dad “Fatso” to see me get mad. now i call him “old man” and he agrees.

my grandmother has always been crazy. she cussed out cops on a weekly basis, about the same regularity she wrecked her car. i have refused to get into a car with her driving since i was 16. she finally had her keys and her license taken away. she plays bridge. she gave me my first sip of coffee – black and strong, which might explain why i still dont like it much.

i remember my grandpa (the other one) singing “Keep on Trucking”, and telling me scary stories about the Will o’ the Wisp house next door to his. I miss my grandpa alot. i dont really remember the last Thanksgiving with him. we must have had one. i remember one several years ago, when he was in the hospital in Macon for the first time over the holidays, and he had hospital turkey and we went out to some buffet place for thanksgiving dinner that year. he cried the next year at the dinner table when he said grace.

my grandma lives in assisted living now, and she gets confused easily. so sometimes she calls another old man by my grandpa’s name, and i pretend i dont notice. my mom tries to change the subject.

Anna tells a story about her father explaining his daughters to people. the “writer daughter”, “the good daughter”, and “the baby”. in my family its “the brain”, “the athelete”, and “the weird one”. guess which one i am. ill give you a hint, i didnt get all A’s and i hate sports. do i care? not really. but it makes me a little sad. like i have no real defining features.

my mom cried when i got my period. my dad cried when he left me at college. we all laughed through tears at my grandpa’s funeral when my mom said, “he really does look so natural!”

melisa’s laugh makes me want to laugh too. she lets me rant to her and sends me random forwards to put up on the spiral. brandus knows more about what goes on in her life day to day, and sometimes i feel left out. they work together, you see, and now that she lives in Denver, i cant go visit whenever i want.

natalie screamed when i told her to ask dave if he wanted a new brother in law. she tempted me to come visit her in maryland one time by promising me a visit to air and space to see the star wars magic of myth exhibit. the cherry trees were blooming that week. and i still dont understand exactly what she does for a living.

i still feel like i hardly know dave. he likes james dean, and kerouac, and hes funny and laid back from what ive seen. which is good. he went to africa with natalie for their 1 year anniversary.

and me? well, im me. im the youngest. i like art, and computers, and websites and writing, but dont feel like im really good at anything. i like kids and special education, but i hated teaching from my junior year til last december. i want to be a writer, or open a bookstore, or start dancing again. maybe all of those, i dont know. my heros are people who live in fantasy worlds and use swords and have fabulous hair. my hair is brown and frizzy sometimes, and i dont like to deal with it. i pull it back into a ponytail and i dont wear makeup and im lazy. i love any painting by john william waterhouse, and seeing some of the real ones in Paris was wonderful. my favorite place in the world is some abandoned cove in the middle of the gaeltaech in Donegal, Ireland.

so there you go. way too many random things for you to absorb.