So, for some unknown, insane reason…actually..because the remote control was too far away, i sat through two horrifically bad shows today.

One, was “Made,” which is a recipe for teenage angst all by itself.

Next, i watched “Date My Mom.”

Again, we have already discussed the nonexistant reasons for me watching this, so really, i have no excuses.

i did, however, begin to wonder what the hell my mother would say on a show like that…for one, you cant get my mother in a pair of jeans. im pretty sure she owns a pair..but she refuses to wear them. and so, when the mom and daughter are giggling together about how “hot” they are, and how mom needs to tell boy that daughter has great boobs, my brain function shuts down.

the idea of my mother discussing my boobs with ME is a situation that would call for a lot of tequila on her part.

seriously, my mother can barely bring herself to use the word “butt.”

so i have this mental image of my mother, perching on the floor, looking horrified as this guy asks about my interests. she would probably say art. maybe reading. possibly sci-fi, only maybe not, because that might scare him away.

hee. my poor mom. we have some similarities. i swear!

I have been mournfully watching The Food Network for the past several hours. Mournfully, as we will soon be cancelling our shiny extended cable, and returning to regular cable. We had a deal for the past three months, you see. Extended cable at the same price as regular. But now, we must cancel, as $50 a month for tv is a bit ridiculus.

anyway, so, i have been watching The Next Food Network Star today, and they had to come up with a pitch for their very own show. Now, besides the fact that i am currently torn between cheering for Michael or Eric, as well as wanting to strangle Deborah, i decided that this would be a fun thing to come up with on my own.

Now, for the moment, lets ignore the fact that i cannot cook without a recipe, and that i have no idea what to do with many very random foods..nor do i want to.

I have decided that Southerners need some food love too. I shall call it, “Fit to Eat,” and i shall make okra! and blackberry cobbler! and fried chicken! and friend green tomatoes!

and my tag line?

“This is alia, and this (offers plate) is fit to eat!”

Wow, its..been a while.

since we last spoke, i became unemployed, watched a lot of television, got hooked on a different tv show, cleaned my house, spent lots of time in my pajamas, celebrated my one year wedding anniversary, had a job interview, got hired, and got seriously freaked out.

Yes, i have been hired. i now have a job i will be starting on wednesday. i get to be a receptionist! which, im actually looking forward to, oddly enough. its a very small office up in ValentineLand, CO, and its an outpatient drug/alcohol rehab place. its only about 30 hours a week too, which will be nice, as that will give me weekends off and time to do artsy things.

however, thats not the point of this post.

the point of this post would be A) the title, and B) the seriously freaked out part.

So, one night, im sitting here..probably still in my pjs, but i cant remember. Brandus is at work. The living room is about five feet from his office, and his door is open. although, please remember, he is at work, not here, and therefore, there is NO ONE here but me and the cats.

and last i checked, the cats dont talk.

so, when i hear whispered voices from his office, it stands to reason, i would think that he had left the window open and there were people outside. this wouldnt be a surprise, we have 80 thousand kids in the neighborhood, and they meet all over the place.

So, i wait for them to go away.

its not like they are talking constantly or anything. just the occansional whisper.

five minutes later, i roll my eyes, and go to shut the window.

which isnt open.

i look outside. there is no one below the window..or even walking past.

i stand there, getting goosebumps, and wait.

im a little confused, you see, as i am the psychic equivilent of a brick wall. nothing supernatural ever happens to me. ever.

so, adter a few minutes, i hear the voices again, and this time, its BEHIND me.

oddly, the only thing behind me is brandus’s desk, and the wall. through the wall would be my office, and my TURNED OFF stereo.

i turn around, and discover that brandus’s little speakers are on.

this would be where the voice is coming from.

strangly, the speakers arent plugged in to the computer. nor is the computer on.

i turned off the speakers, shut the door, and turned the tv up loud, just in case.

*shiver*