To DONE List

Posted on 11/24/2015 by alianora

Today, things were accomplished!

Not any cleaning, because let’s be honest, that is to be saved for Wednesday, hours before my parents arrive, when I’m running around in circles wondering if the trash can is clean enough* and if Voldemort ever located the rod for the toilet paper holder (hint: no) in their bathroom.

However! I made a grocery list! I went to the store! I overspent my grocery budget, because thanksgiving!

And then, halfway through the store, the kid saw a display of canned pumpkin and said, “MMMMmm, punkin pie!” and I went “?!??” because I had no knowledge that my kid had ever even SEEN a real pumpkin pie much less enjoyed eating them, but we bought pumpkin and spices and came home and made a pumpkin pie and a pecan pie, because my many assorted texture issues get to me about pumpkin pie and I cannot deal, but pecan pie is a lovely lovely thing.

Then Voldemort annoyed me very much by asking repeatedly to watch another movie, play a video game, play an educational game please Mama, look up new apps on the ipad, so books on origami were provided (we hit the library today too – returned things, checked out new things, flatly refused to get duped into a game of chess while there, you know. Library things). We eventually managed fairly semi-decent looking cranes, but I remain spatially inept, and we decided that origami is best accomplished with someone else who has no idea what they’re doing, because watching two people follow the same directions and screw them up in different ways is HILARIOUS.

Then there was bread making (me), and fort building (Voldemort), and instructions on how to make the best hot chocolate ever, which I guess involves putting the marshmallows in the milk before heating it up as that makes it super melty and delicious.

I did have to roust Voldemort out of the fort at bedtime – even after agreeing that “FINE, You can sleep in there!” because the lights need to be off, no all the lights, don’t you have a light on your computer to see with Mama? and then the fort got kicked by the one inside it and the walls and ceiling collapsed and my kid is now in their OWN bed, thank goodness.

Now, I have two pies to wrap up and stick in the fridge, and two loaves of bread to drool over before wrapping up on the counter. And then I should reload the dishwasher. But then? Bed. Glorious bed.

*Not a joke. This is what my mother scolded me about last time she was here.

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Grocery List

Posted on 11/23/2015 by alianora

I didn’t realize how bad it was until today.

When I realized that not only were we out of regular milk and almond milk, but we were also out of apples, oranges, grapes, sandwich bread, cereal, and cookies.

Normally, I menu plan and go grocery shopping on Sundays. This week is Thanksgiving, though, and my parents are coming, so I haven’t gone shopping as I didn’t know what all we would be cooking and if we were eating out at any point.

Plus, I was lazy and I didn’t want to. So there.

Instead, I shall drag myself (and the kid, because no school this week) to the store tomorrow, where I will stare in bafflement at the thanksgiving day specials in sheer brain overload. Yay.

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Audio*

Posted on 11/22/2015 by alianora

Voldermort and I end up spending a chunk of time in the car together. In order to keep from losing my damn mind from the whining about the lack of ipad and insane noises and weird body movements my kid does while bored, we listen to audiobooks.

I particularly enjoy listening to classics I loved as a kid, especially those with a movie that has been made.

We started with Chris Colfer’s The Land of Stories series, and after listening to all of the books in the series TWICE, I insisted we move on. Because brain cells are important! And because as much as I like Chris Colfer as an actor, I frequently want to set that series on fire from irritation.

From there, we’ve dabbled in Percy Jackson – although we are stalled on that until the library alerts overdrive that it’s finally read to be checked out. Voldemort was so excited when I said I knew there were two movies that had been made. They talked and talked and talked to me about how the monsters were going to dissolve into mist, and they wanted to see what Grover and Tyson looked like, and when do we get to meet Thalia?**

Just for fun after that, I downloaded Matilda. THIS KID LOVED IT. Tonight, we watched the movie. Voldemort was running back and forth in excitment, and scolding the film when it got things out of order.

Right now, we’re listening to The Secret Garden. Mary just found the key.

(We haven’t yet called my sisters and sang “A Bit of Earth,” but it’s only a matter of time.)

I know there is at least one movie where Colin and Mary aren’t cousins? And there is hints of a love story when they’re older? Obviously, that is blasphemy, as Mary/Dicken OTP FOREVER. I can’t find the movie I am looking for though – where instead of everybody dying of cholera, there was an earthquake at the beginning.

Next, maybe we’ll swing back to Roald Dahl and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Just because I need to watch Willy Wonka.

*I erased the title twice, convinced I had typed “aubio” instead.
**They don’t dissolve in the movies, Grover’s pretty cool, I didn’t see the second one, and I’m betting they ignored Thalia

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Punchline

Posted on 11/21/2015 by alianora

Voldemort’s current favorite joke:

“What’s your name?”
“What color is the sky?”
“What’s the opposite of down?”

I’ve already heard it half a dozen times since I picked them up at school, and have now started giving increasingly weird answers.

“Your FACE is my name.”
“Glitter is totally a color.”
“Seven!”

Save me.

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Animal Farm

Posted on 11/19/2015 by alianora

The cat who really only wants attention when her bowl is empty has been meowing at me all day and is currently sitting on my feet. Both food and water are available, so I’m not quite sure what’s going on. She’s huge and my feet get cold easily, so I’m definitely not complaining.

The cat that scratched the hell out of my arm several days ago is in unknown places. Likely, she is curled up shedding black fur all over my comforter, waiting for me to come to bed. When I do, she will jump down and dart under the bed where I can’ reach her and throw her out of the bedroom. She likes to wait until I’m deeply asleep before attacking my hands for tragically not petting her. I can usually fake her out and make a grab for her before I actually fall asleep.

Cat the third is curled up on top of the chair above my head and has one paw on my shoulder to claim me. He’s my baby, and also enjoys waiting until I head up the stairs to go to bed before making a run for it to hide under the bed with Jinx. He prefers waiting until I’m down for the count before sitting on my chest and purring loudly with his whiskers in my face. I usually throw him out around 3 AM when he wakes me up for the third time.

The dog ate a pair of Voldemort’s glasses last night. She is currently in disgrace. Not that she cares, as she keeps getting up from where she’s lounging on the floor in order to shove her face in my lap for pettings. The cat on my feet alternately ignores her or growls threateningly, and then touches her nose with one paw. It’s a warning? Or possibly a love declaration? It’s a little unclear.

One of the cats is purring loud enough that I can hear it from across the room. Life is pretty good.

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