Scene: PreK lunch table, speech therapist is struggling with the childproof lock on the fridge
4 year old: I can open it! Here! *unlocks*
——
Scene: PreK Snack time, directly after rest time.
Teacher: Do you want a snack?
4 year old: *nods*
Teacher: *turns away*
4 year old: *pukes on floor*
Teacher: OMG!
4 year old: Look, I had strawberries for breakfast.
—–
Scene: Rest time
5 year old: And then that fucking thing fell down!
TA: …the..WHAT?
I was forced to undergo a physical recently. And by forced, I mean, otherwise, I wouldn’t be allowed to have a job.
While there, the PA said, ‘Hmmmmm,’ when I revealed that it had been many many years since I last remembered doing a vision screening.
Oddly enough, I failed.
Well..not all of me. Just my left eye. The ingrate.
So, I spend the next three weeks awaiting time for my appointment at the eye place. Which promptly gets canceled the day before, and do I mind waiting another three weeks?
Yes, yes i do. So i call Walmart, and they say, ‘sure! come in two days from today!’
then they promptly say, wow, you have astigmatism in your left eye. Wonder why this never bothered you in the past? Have glasses!
I get a prescription, i examine frames and gag over price tags. I end up asking the woman behind the counter which one of three she likes better, because i am not good at making decisions about how i look in things.
I picked them up today, put them on and said to myself, “hey, these are pretty cute, and WOW! Everything is so clea-is that a wrinkle?”
You know, it’s really annoying when I have to fight the urge to comment in the margin of a script – “Your story is decent, but I want to hit all of your characters in the face with a brick.”
I am perusing through Square Foot Gardening on Google Books, because 1) i would really like to actually have a garden, even though i have killed many plants in my past, and 2) the library doesnt have it, and 3) im cheap.
This guy might have some good ideas, but WOW does he come off as a dick. You would think he had invented vegetables from how he talks – how wonderful it will be when Square Foot Gardening has spread throughout the entire world, bringing people food and more money and how connected families will be – “the woman of the family is our primary target for this project, as she is most concerned about the children’s nutrition.”
I just..I kind of want to hit him in the face and plant in traditional rows JUST TO SPITE HIM. I wont, because we have no yard, so it’s not like I can. Unless someone knows of a way to plant things into the rocks lining the driveway.
Instead of being a really cool introduction to a really cool way of gardening, it’s trying to SELL it to you. Which I guess makes sense, because you can buy grids and videos and books and all his other crap on his web site, but COME ON. Could you be a little less condescending* and sound a little less like an infomercial**?
That said, it does sound like a cool system. Anyone tried it, or any other version of gardening? Im a novice here, with the exception of the tomato plant I killed last year.
*totally mistyped as “condensing.” It might be difficult for him to be less condensing, but I wouldnt know
**I love infomercials above many things. I can watch the Magic Bullet infomercial OVER and OVER
The other day, we got Voldemort a potty.
Not a big deal, we figured. We’re not in a hurry, but Voldemort can already tell us when he is wet or dirty, so hey. Might as well give it a shot.
So, tonight, while he was in the bathtub playing around, I set up the potty and put it in the corner of the bathroom, and figured it might sit on it for a second or two.
Nope.
Kid sat on the potty til he peed.
And then he stood up, pointed and said ‘PeePee!’
And the next step? TAKING OVER THE WORLD!