He came in
from the bathroom,
and said,
I think
there is an alarm clock
going off
somewhere next door.
I go in, too,
and listen.
A faint beep beep beep
is enough
to leave me looking in confusion.
The room
on the other side
is also a bathroom,
and who
would have
an alarm clock
in a bathroom?
I look for a moment,
and think,
and then glance down.
I say,
I think
you need
to recharge
your toothbrush.
Ive spent this week alternating between crippling depression over my job and how the entire profession of teaching hates me in very not subtle ways, and extreme irritation while i say things like, “IF YOU THROW YOURSELF ON THE FLOOR ONE MORE TIME, I AM CALLING THE WHINE WAGON TO COME AND GET YOU,” and “FOR THE LOVE OF TOAST, STOP LICKING THE TABLE.”
Preschoolers are weird.
Of course, I may only get this year to say that, because the licensure department – you know, the people who didn’t issue my license until MARCH when I applied in DECEMBER – says that I have to complete the 6 hours I need to clear my provisional PreK license by June.
Ok, no problem!
Except that it is, because only one of the classes I need is offered this summer. Can they extend the time frame, seeing as I didnt know what classes I needed until AFTER the deadline for spring registration?
WHY NO, NO THEY CANNOT. PS. IF I DONT TAKE THESE TWO CLASSES, THEY WON’T LET ME TEACH.
I call HR. they make thoughtful noises, and recommend i check with different colleges and universities to see if any offer the class I need.
I say…no, i really wasnt KIDDING when I told you this class was not being offered ANYWHERE IN NC. TRUST ME, I ALREADY LOOKED.
*facepalm* i think ive got it worked out, after talking to the Guy in Charge of something, who has agreed to let me take a different class and pretend it counts towards my license.
It’s possible that somewhere along the way in talking to HR and Guy in Charge and The Evil State that my head popped right off of my neck and rolled around on the floor. Because ever since, I’ve had a very difficult time making sentences that make sense. Or stringing words together in any order. Or not calling kids the wrong name.
Join me tomorrow, when I spam you with pictures of the TWO YEAR OLD VOLDEMORT. AHHHHHHH!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
I am so over this whole “working” thing.
Think I could find someone who would pay me to stay home and watch Asian television? Id be really great at it!
-My child is damned to hell
-I am a heathen, and need to take my child to church
-No, she doesn’t care that I don’t like church. SHE doesnt like church, either. I should still go.
-I dress like a highschooler
-My child is filthy and is never bathed.
-The child looks so CUTE in clothes covered in bunnies
This week has been rather insanely busy. Last weekend, I did very little on my to do list, and instead of doing taxes or cleaning the house or putting pants on the kid, I caught an 18 month old as she fell off the top of a ten foot slide, and listened to her mother, who was 30 feet away say, “Huh. Didn’t think she’d go up there.”
I then found out that daycare was going to be closed on Good Friday, and that the school wouldnt let brandus have the day off to stay home with him. SO GUESS WHO DID? I am now completely out of sick days. I must make a note to remind myself not to come down with the plague or tooth decay or oh-my-god-i-hate-kids until we get out for summer break.
We’re on spring break this week, and are about to take our heathen selves over to someone’s house to have Easter dinner. I’m trying to remind myself that wishing them a Happy Zombie Jesus day would probably be considered rude.
After that, it’s off to Georgia for the week. Instead of packing kid’s toys or washing clothes or trying to remember if my parents have a pack and play, Im transferring important Japanese documents to my portable hard drive. And by “important,” i mean “vital” and by “documents,” i mean “television.”
I should also be feeding the cats or cleaning the kitchen or eating breakfast, but im much happier trying to decide if I should be taking Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon episodes with me or if i should just be taking the truly important things – like gay porn.