Is there such a thing as Bridal Tourettes? Cause i have it.
the past week, i have been grading papers, creating finals, taking finals, entering grades into the computer, and my kids are really starting to get weirded out whenever i stop what im doing and yell, “aisle runner!” or “flower girls!” or “strapless bra!”
So, im walking through the halls to check my box at work, and some of the kids are going through the massive piles of lost and found that are currently taking over the commons.
of course, i walk by right as one boy flips a black lace bra out of the pile and nearly hits his friend, who ducks fast.
i roll my eyes and tell them to pick it up, and then referee the ensuing argument over which one has to pick it up.
so the kid who flipped the bra looks around helplessly. then he picks up a piece of paper, covers his hand, and very very carefully, picks the bra up by one shoulder strap.
the way he was treating it, you would have thought the bra was contaminated.
i told him he was going to be hopeless if he ever had a girlfriend.
Yesterday, i am getting home from dinner, and am parking my car in front of my apartment building. i am backing into my space, when i notice a woman in a car next to me with her window down.
alia: hello?
carchick: hi, do you know Thadeus Jeramiah Scott Logan?
alia: *blink*
carchick: he lives over there. *points to house next door*
me: no, im sorry, i dont know him.
carchick: why not?
alia: …the guys next door move in and out alot..
carchick: well, he’s my baby’s daddy.
alia: no, i dont know him.
carchick: i havent seen him in a year.
alia: ..im sorry?
carchick: do you know how i found him? i looked on the sex offender registry.
alia: oh.
carchick: im going to stake this place out tonight.
alia: oh. ok.
huh? someone want to tell me why this complete stranger decided to share this with me? and why, if she is staking out his place, she had her young child in the backseat? and i couldnt exactly get away from this lady, as she was pretty much blocking me into my car.
and im really really not excited about living next door to a registered sex offender.
Dear People I work with,
Believe it or not, i do have many many things to do today. So if you happen to walk by while i am swearing under my breath and desperately searching through files and paperwork, or rapidly entering information into the computer and deliberately not speaking to you, do not assume that i want to talk about The Wedding.
Yes, im getting married.
its on the 29th. yes, that is only about two weeks away.
we are going to disneyworld for our honeymoon.
the dress is very pretty.
colors? like i care.
yes, flowers are nice.
amazingly enough, my every brain cell is not obsessed about my upcoming nuptials. im excited, sure. but i am also creating finals, finishing 4 IEPs and assorted paperwork, canceling appointments, tracking down kids who arent going to graduate, and holding last minute meetings. not to mention finishing 2 major projects for my grant program.
but for heavens sake, can i get ONE DAY where people dont insist on interupting me to ask about the wedding?
just one?
I am offically out of thank you cards. does that mean i dont have to write any more?
ive been mainly working on the linen shower cards, and because there are so many, ive been doing them at odd times. like in my team taught class while the other teacher is lecturing. or in the MH classroom while im on duty in there.
as ive written more and more, my sense of humor gets more frayed.
i was trying to find a nice way to thank the woman who gave me the ugly towels with brown fringe, and all the paras were trying to help me out.
“thank you for the unusual towels”, “i will use them often when i spill things.”
and my favorite,
“i will think of your kindness everytime i use your towels to give my cat a bath.”
bwah!