Updates

Posted on 11/13/2015 by alianora

1. RE: two tails and spread ’em – It’s not just me. Buzzfeed has questions about the Starbucks logo, too.

2. Arm still attached. Still doesn’t look quite right, but I keep slathering antibacterial stuff on it, so I’m hoping for the best. If it still hurts Monday, I guess I should probably go see the doc.

3. My kid lost ANOTHER tooth. The Tooth Fairy is low on funds, people.

4. I can’t remember how we got on to the topic, but Voldemort didn’t believe me when I said that Ms Piggy sang Kermit a love song when they were babies.

So I had to prove it.

5. We’re going roller skating yet again tomorrow. Making something like 8 times in 3 months. I’m getting better – the first two times were super shaky and involved a lot of “THIS WAS SO EASY WHEN I WAS A KID,” but now I’m up and moving pretty well so long as I don’t have anyone too close by me. I tense up when that happens. I’ve only fallen once, and it was when I was trying to get back off the skating floor to obtain free pizza.

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Discombobulated

Posted on 11/13/2015 by alianora

I’m having one of those days where everything just feels a little mixed up.

Like, I forgot to eat dinner.

Completely spaced it. I fed the kid. Had kid feed animals. Didn’t feed myself.

I was looking for my glasses and muttered “keys, keys, keys,” to myself, even though my keys and my glasses look nothing alike.

Also, my keys were on my face.

..that was a completely inadvertent typo – I know my keys don’t go on my face – but I’m leaving it to accurately depict whatever the hell is going on in brainfog land today.

Going with my usual lack of transition from anything to whatever, the whole red cup Starbucks thing.

Oddly, I’ve seen about 800 posts mocking it and whatever..but not one single actual post about people actually being upset about the cups being war on Christmas-y*. This prompted me to take a closer look at the Starbucks logo and..what the actual fuck is going on here?

starbucks_coffee-logo2

I always thought it was some mermaid thing, but..why does she have two tails – one on either side of her head? What is she doing? How is she doing it? She looks zen – very yoga, maybe, and the flexibility would make sense there. Is she a stripper in the middle of a performance and is spreading her legs during her dance? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Vaguely relatedly, I took a Dunkin Donuts reusable cup I got for free at blogher this year or last into Starbucks and ordered a grande iced chai latte. Grande because that’s what I could afford, even though the cup is significantly larger.

I ended up with significantly more chai than ordered, which was something I was not at all displeased to discover.

I have more stream of consciousness to share, but I’m about to faceplant into my keyboard, so instead I’ll let you know that my arm might fall off due to the dog scaring the cat while cat was laying on my arm. Big ow to crease of elbow. Possibly dying. Send chocolate.

*I’ll keep the Christ in Christmas when you keep the Thor in Thursday, asshole.

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Camptown Races

Posted on 11/11/2015 by alianora

I was hoping I would be at the Tattered Cover in Denver tonight, meeting The Bloggess and possibly even Beyonce, the giant metal chicken.

Instead, I got to go sit in a cramped auditorium with a ridiculous amount of other parents with cameras in order to not actually see my kid sing “Yankee Doodle” because the kid in front was in the way.

Ah, parenting.

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Flurries

Posted on 11/10/2015 by alianora

I protest.

I live in Colorado, I understand there is snow in the winter, but I PROTEST this decision of it snowing TONIGHT.

I’ve been hearing gleeful murmurs. My kid found a pair of snow boots the other day at the store and has been peeking outside hopefully every morning before putting shoes on with a sigh.

I was prepared to ignore it. Snow is not a thing that I should have to acknowledge. My standard response is to see it out the window when I get up, glare, and then put on leggings under my jeans and find my heavy boots. Then stomp outside to turn the car on while I drink tea and sulk.

But why. WHY must it snow tomorrow? And it will – I just checked the weather forecast and it says there is 100% chance of snow. It’s NOVEMBER. It’s early November! Do we have to deal with this already?

Ugh. I should probably go find my leggings and figure out if my heavy socks are clean.

Think of me tomorrow, scraping my car window free of frost and trying to swear quietly enough that Voldemort doesn’t hear.

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Day Nine

Posted on 11/9/2015 by alianora

How much do I love that searching “youtube ferris bueller nine times” gives you five different options of this?

Also, in amazing news, did you know that people actually read your blog when you post regularly? WHO KNEW.

I have no clear theme to story to tell tonight, so my apologies for whatever rambling you are about to experience. Or have experienced. Or something.

I only taught a half day today, but omg what a LOUD group. Second graders! So loud! Much talking!

For dealing with fifth graders or eighth graders (somethings sixth, but it depends on if they’re the top of the food chain or the bottom), I usually carry bribes. Candy works well. Stickers sometimes work, even with the bigger kids.

I usually do not have to resort to bribery with the little ones, because they are generally people pleasers and want you to like them.

This kids? Stickers wouldn’t have worked. Candy wouldn’t have worked. Donuts MAYBE, but I’m doubting it.

They were sweet kids, don’t get me wrong. They were just loud and unruly and even the morning teacher warned me that they were all crazypants that day.

Included in my four hours of work was fifty five minutes of the kids at lunch, and forty five with them at music.

So why am I exhausted?

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