by alianora

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Part 3

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Panting, he collapsed to the ground and slumped against a tree.

A thousand images were imprinted in his brain. Memories that were not his own swirled around, overlapping and making him dizzy.

The image that he replayed over and over again was Maria’s collapse at the funeral, anguish marring her features as she sobbed into the arms of a friend.

He should have been there. He should have known.

Maybe if she had been full human, she would have lived, and grown up happy.  Maybe if he had been there. Maybe if Maria had stayed.

Or maybe it would not have mattered.

Maybe he would have had to stand by as Maria had, helpless and powerless and losing his mind as he watched his daughter die.

His daughter.

A little girl he never got a chance to meet. Never got to teach how to draw, or how to play baseball, or how to keep away jerks like him.  Never got a chance to screw up her life beyond recognition. Not like he did to Maria’s.

Michael buried his fingers in his hair and cried.
 

Maria slumped in the hospital chair and rubbed her burning eyes.  She glanced up hopefully when a shadow fell over her chair, but it was just the janitor mopping.  She picked her feet up automatically so he could mop underneath her chair.

She was exhausted.  This was her eleventh hour at the hospital.

“Maria!”

Maria jerked her eyes from her study of the ceiling and sat up, trying to look awake.

Liz was hurrying towards her, looking worried and stressed.  “I’m so sorry it took me so long to get here!  I didn’t get your message until a few hours ago!”

Maria clung to her friend tightly.  “It doesn’t matter.  I’m so glad you’re here.”  She blew out her breath.  “I could really use the moral support.”

“What has the doctor said?”

“Nothing.  I haven’t seen him in over two hours”  Maria pushed her hair out of her face and sagged back into her chair.  “The last time I saw the doctor, he said her pulse was erratic and that she might need to go on life support.  I couldn’t stay in the room with her anymore, I had to take a break.”

Liz just hugged her again.  “Do you know what happened?”

Maria shook her head.  “Not really.  I went in to bring her some breakfast this morning and she wouldn’t wake up.  It really scared me.”

“I bet,”  Liz said softly.  “Is there anything I can do?  Is there anyone else you need to call?”

Maria sighed.  “Yeah, I think so.  I haven’t gotten around to calling Sheriff Valenti yet, and I think he might like to know.”

“Do you want me to call him for you?”

“Would you?”  Maria asked hopefully.  “I don’t really want to talk to anyone else right now.  Could you call Alex too?”

“Did you ever call him?”

“No.  Things got really crazy all of a sudden, and I never got around to it.”

Liz lifted an eyebrow.  “More than your mom being sick?”

“Yeah,”  Maria sighed.  “I’ll tell you all about it later.  The really short version is that I ran into Michael again, and I told him about Allison.”

“Whoa,” Liz breathed, her eyes wide.  “How did he take it?”

“About as well as can be expected.”  Maria’s expression was pained.  “Listen, could you get me some coffee while you’re making those calls?  I don’t want to go too far in case the doctor comes by again.”

“Sure thing, babe.”  Liz smiled reassuringly before heading off to find the phones.

Maria slumped back into her chair and resumed staring at the ceiling.

Less than a week later, Maria stood by her mother’s bed.  Liz, Alex and the Sheriff were just outside, waiting tensely for her to repeat what she was being told.  Her tired brain tried to focus on what the doctor was saying.

“Coma…we don’t know if…might be better to…just let her go…no pain.”

Numbly, Maria took the papers he handed her.  She did not even hear the doctor leave the room.  She focused on her mother’s face.

The hiss of the respirator almost overwhelmed the reassuring beep of the heart monitor.  Maria forced herself to look at the machines keeping her mother alive.

Amy DeLuca was surrounded by wires and machines.  She had tubes in her nose and down her throat.  She would have hated it.  She always said she wanted to die at home.

Maria reached out and stroked her mother’s face.  She turned and walked away, her steps slow and labored.  She felt so very old.

And outside were people who had to be told what she had decided.  And there were papers to be signed, and a will to be put in order.

She managed not to cry.

The next week or so was a blur of legalities, funeral preparations and pain.

Maria was there at the end, sitting beside her mother.  She told her all about Allison, the granddaughter Amy never knew.  All Maria could do was hope they met in heaven, and that both of them forgave her for the pain she put them through.

Early one morning, the machines were turned off, the beeping stopped, and Amy DeLuca died with her daughter holding her hand and telling her stories of when they were together.

Maria barely remembered her daughter’s funeral.  It had seemed more like a dream than anything.  She had been deeply in shock, so Debbie had made the majority of the arrangements.  In comparison, her mother’s was startlingly real.

A million choices had to be made.  A casket, a headstone, flowers; all had to be selected and paid for.

Liz and Alex helped as much as possible.  She was grateful.  Sheriff Valenti had helped where he could.  Maria felt sorry for him.  He had cared for her mother too.

The day of the funeral dawned bright and clear, without a cloud in the sky.  Maria lay in bed as long as she could, trying to put off the finality of this day.

Her clothes were selected, her breakfast untouched, her mind blank.

Maria went through the motions of getting showered and dressed automatically.  She looked for the black pumps she had been planning on wearing.  She had brought them home with her, as they were sober and normal and went with everything.

Maria stood outside her mother’s bedroom, one shoe clutched in her hand.  She knew the other one was in there, lying carelessly next to her mother’s bed where she had dropped it almost a week ago.

Slowly, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.  The room was unchanged.  Maria could imagine her mother walking back into the cheerful little room, talking a mile a minute and flopping down on the neatly made bed.  Slowly, Maria sank down to sit on that same bed and inhaled.  Amy’s favorite scent still hung in the air.

Maria looked slowly around, committing everything in this room to memory.  There was a misshapen clay pot on the dresser that Maria had made when she was eleven.  Amy’s jacket was flung carelessly on the back of a chair, looking for all the world as if Amy had just dropped it there.  And on the wall was a framed picture of Amy and Maria, grinning and making faces at the camera, taken a few short months before Maria had left.

Maria finally let the tears overtake her.  She curled up on the bed in her nice dress and hose, and pressed her face to the pillow as she shook with crying.

Michael stood in the shadows at the back of the church, watching the people already in the sanctuary. Liz, Max, Isabel and even Alex were sitting together near the front. Liz and Alex both looked tired.

Alex and Liz had been taking turns staying with Maria when she was at the house, and they both had been at the hospital anytime they could. It was no wonder they were exhausted.

Michael had wanted to go by, but every time, he would make it to the door to the Intensive Care Unit and his courage would fail. One time he had walked in and seen Maria sleeping, curled up in an ugly green hospital chair in the waiting room.

He had stopped and studied her for a moment. She was huddled underneath her jacket, clutching it to her tightly. Her clothes were wrinkled and her hair was dirty. It was obvious that she had been there for quite a while. He had watched her a little while longer, then turned and walked away. He had promised himself that he would go back.

He did not get a chance to go back. Amy died early the next morning, with her daughter sitting next to her holding her hand.

Michael turned with the rest of the crowd as Maria entered behind her mother's casket. Her face was pale and her hands were shaking a little as she picked nervously at her nails. The modest black dress she was wearing made her look even more pale and drained. Her eyes darted around anxiously.

She seemed small and frightened as she followed the coffin down the aisle alone.

Not many people were in the small sanctuary. Amy was generally liked through out the town, but neither she nor her daughter had made many close friends. Most people thought she was a kook, catering to Roswell's alien obsessives. The Parkers and the Whitmans were there, as were some of Amy's former customers.

Sheriff Jim Valenti and his son were both there too. Kyle looked uncomfortable in his suit and jacket, and kept giving his father anxious glances.

Jim kept his eyes straight ahead without acknowledging his son. His cowboy hat was at home today, and his hair was neatly parted and combed. His shoulders were slumped in sadness, but he nodded at Maria as she passed by their pew. Maria returned a small forced smile.

Maria slipped into the first pew beside Alex. He gave her a hug and smoothed her hair back from her face. She leaned into him and reached across him to grab Liz's hand.

"How are you doing?" Alex whispered in her ear.

Maria just shrugged in reply and turned her attention to the front where the preacher was slowly making his way to the pulpit.

The preacher was an old man who had known Amy for most of her life. He had married a teenage Amy DeLuca to her young boyfriend and christened a newborn Maria in the front of this church.

And now he would bury Amy.

His voice rough, he spoke gently about life and love and the gifts Amy had been given, and had given to the world in return.

Maria's eyes were wet when he told about first meeting a ten year old whirlwind, rubbing dirt in an older boy's face after he made fun of her Sunday dress.

He gave examples of her making pies for the church suppers and her boundless enthusiasm for volunteering to run projects.

He spoke of how gentle she was with the babies in the nursery, and how she always sang them to sleep with hymns.

Tears began to slide down her face when Jeff Parker stood and simply said that Amy had been a great friend to him and his family. Liz's hand tightened around Maria's when he spoke of Amy rushing Maria to the hospital to see Liz after Liz had broken her ankle at school. Jeff’s voice broke when he told of Amy taking over running the Crashdown for a week so he and Nancy could go on vacation.

Maria sighed and wiped her eyes.

A woman from the choir stepped forward. In a low, sweet voice she began to sing.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide!
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Maria closed her eyes and tried to breathe as her mother’s favorite hymn reached her. The song that her mother had sung to her when she was younger, and she could not sleep.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

The hymn Maria had sung to her mother every day at the hospital.

She barely felt Alex’s arm tighten protectively around her.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

Her shoulders began to shake as she tried to suppress the sobs that were fighting their way out.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me!

The singer’s last note hung in the air as Maria bowed her head and wept into the stillness.

Alex just held her, murmuring into her hair. Liz leaned forward as well and added her arms to the embrace.

The three clung together as they cried.

Isabel reached out to them, but Max stopped her. He just shook his head at her, and motioned for her to wait. She nodded, and reluctantly gave them a little space.

The whole church was waiting for Maria to follow the casket back out to the graveyard. She pulled out of Alex and Liz’s arms and took a deep breath. Squeezing Liz’s hand once more, she stood up. She avoided the looks of sympathy that were being directed her way.

She walked red eyed back out of the church, following the coffin to the small graveyard behind the church. She was conscious of her friends comforting presence at her back, but she stood alone while the coffin was slowly lowered into the grave.

The preacher lowered his head and led the congregation in saying the Lord’s Prayer. Maria could taste each line on her tongue, and whispered the final sentence to herself. “For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.” *Watch over my mother and daughter.* she prayed silently. *They are with you now.*

She leaned forward and dropped a rose into the grave with her mother’s coffin. She nodded at Alex and Liz, and they both leaned forward to drop remembrances in as well. Alex left an alien doll from Amy’s shop, and Liz dropped a picture of Maria and Liz that Amy had taken when the girls were very young and playing dress up in the Crashdown waitresses’ uniforms. Maria’s antennae were falling over one of her eyes, and Liz’s dress was almost dragging the ground. Amy had laughed so hard she had cried.

Maria hugged Liz and Alex again, trying to put off having to deal with everyone else.

“We’re right here,” Alex reminded her, gripping her hands reassuringly. She attempted to smile at him, and turned to face Isabel and Max.

Isabel looked lost. “I don’t even know what to say,” she confessed. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Isabel,” Maria said. “That’s the most honest thing I’ve heard all day.”

Isabel gave her a tentative hug, as did Max.

Sheriff Valenti stepped up with Kyle behind him. Valenti’s eyes were red. He reached up automatically to adjust his hat and looked lost when it was not there.

“Your momma was a real fine lady,” he said hoarsely. “I’m going to miss her. Let me know if I can do anything.”

“Thank you, Sheriff.” Maria nodded at Kyle and he gave her a weak smile, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. Valenti nodded again and backed away.

Other people came up and spoke to her. Maria stopped really listening after a while, responding mainly with “Thank you for coming. It would have meant a lot to her” occasionally completely at odds with what had been said.

Finally, the only people left were her, Liz, and Alex. The Parker’s had wanted to stay, but Liz had reassured them that they would be fine, and sent them back to the house.

Maria slipped her arms around Alex and Liz.

“Ready to go?” Liz asked.

Maria sighed. “Almost. Can you two just give me a minute? Please?”

“Sure,” Alex said gently. “We’ll be by the car.” Maria smiled gratefully as he pulled Liz away.

Maria stood for a moment looking down at the grave.

“Goodbye, Mama,” she whispered as she turned away.

Michael watched her walk away. Her shoulders were slumped and her arms were crossed protectively around herself. She looked exhausted.

Halfway to the car, she paused, and looked toward the tree he was standing under.

“I know you’re there, Michael,” She said tiredly. “You might as well come out.”

Michael blinked and stepped forward slowly. They stared at each other for a minute.

Maria blew out her breath and shifted her weight onto her right foot. “I’m very tired right now, Michael. Do you have something to say?” She kicked off her left shoe and tried to stretch out her foot, grimacing.

“I wanted to come by.”

“I know. I saw you a couple of times.”

“You did?” Michael was startled, and embarrassed.

Maria just nodded, and kicked off her other shoe. “Once at the house, and a time or two at the hospital.... Although it’s entirely possible I dreamed or hallucinated at least one of those visits.”

“I didn’t want to intrude,” Michael admitted. “And I wasn’t sure if you would want me around after the other night.” He looked away from her uncomfortably as the some of the memories she had shone him resurfaced.

“I didn’t know if you would want to see me either.” Maria poked her abandoned shoes with her toe.

Michael looked up at her questioningly.

“I should have found a way to tell you about Allison earlier. I should have called you when she was born. Or when I found out about her heart, or something.” Maria tucked her hair behind her ear nervously. “I’m sorry that you never got a chance to know her. That wasn’t fair.”

Michael inhaled past the lump in his throat. “It’s ok. You didn’t know. And I don’t know if I would have believed you anyway.” He was silent a moment. “A baby would have been just another attachment to me then,” he murmured.

Maria just nodded.

They stood there uneasily, lost in their own thoughts.

“I’m leaving soon,” Maria said suddenly.

Michael jerked out of his thoughts. “To go back to the house?”

“No.” Maria looked at him. “I mean leaving to go back to North Carolina.”

“What? Why?”

“This isn’t home anymore. Liz and Alex are off at school. Mom is...gone.” She swallowed. “And Allison’s grave is there. And as dumb as it sounds, I don’t want to leave her there all alone.”

“It doesn’t sound dumb at all,” Michael whispered.

Maria gave him a weak smile. “Thank you,” she said simply.

“When are you leaving?”

“I’m not sure. Soon. I have to get the house cleaned out and sold. I can’t afford to keep it.” Maria looked lost. “I’m not even sure where to start. And what do I do with everything?”

“Sell it.” Michael thought for a minute. “There is a pretty good second hand store over on Third Avenue that sells furniture. I don’t know what all they would take, but you could look into it.”

“That’s a good idea. Thank you, Michael.” Maria gave him a small smile.

Michael nodded. “Sure.”

“I better go,” Maria finally said. “Alex and Liz will be wondering what happened to me.”

“Ok.”

Maria continued to stand there, studying him.

He grew uncomfortable under her stare. “What?” He finally blurted out.

She tilted her head to the side and licked her lips absently. “Come to the house before I leave, ok?”

“Ok,” he agreed. “Why?”

“I have a few pictures of Allison. They’re not great, but I thought you might like to see them.”

“I’d like that.”

“Good,” Maria nodded. “I really need to go now.” She turned and began to walk towards the parking lot.

“Maria?”

She turned. “Huh?”

Michael smirked and cocked an eyebrow. Pointing, he asked, “Your shoes?”

Maria sighed and shook her head. Bending to pick them up she muttered, “I suppose I should put them back on.” She looked at the shoes apathetically.

“Why?” Michael questioned.

“I don’t know. Respect for the dead? I’ll run my hose? Alex would make fun of me?”

“I don’t think the dead care if you run your hose. And what does Alex know anyway?”

Maria laughed her first laugh in days. “Good point. I know my mom wouldn‘t have cared. She would wonder why I was wearing pantyhose in the first place.”

“Well, there you go then. You now have my permission to run barefoot through the cemetery,” Michael graciously stated.

“Well, thank you sir. How kind of you.” Maria curtseyed. She turned to walk away and then paused. “I’ll see you later?” Her voice was hesitant, and she fiddled with the heel of one of her shoes.

“You’ll see me later, Maria. I promise.”

Maria gave him one last smile. Carrying her shoes, she walked towards the car where Liz and Alex were waiting.

Michael watched her go. Then he went to pay his respects to Amy DeLuca. She deserved them.

Liz tapped on the door of the DeLuca house.

A thump and a slightly irritated “Yes?” answered her.

Liz opened the door a few inches, sending several books careening across the floor   “Is it safe to come in?”  She asked, examining the pile of boxes and books that prevented her from opening the door any further.

Maria looked up from where she sat in the middle of the madness of the living room.  She had dirt smudged on one cheek, and was glaring confusedly at a stack of papers.  “Hey, Liz.  Try and come on in.  I’m pretty sure nothing in this mess will eat you.  Although, if anything moves, save yourself and run before it smothers you too.”

Liz laughed, and began the process of trying to kick some of the junk away from the door.  With some intricate maneuvers and a helpful tug from Maria, Liz finally managed to stagger inside, panting with exertion.

“Good grief!”  Liz collapsed on a large box beside the door.  “Maria, have you left the house in the past two days?”

Maria looked embarrassed.  “Only once, and I went through my bedroom window.  I almost broke my ankle falling out of it though, so I wouldn’t suggest trying it.”

“I came over to see if you wanted some food, and then maybe some help.”  Liz looked around the local disaster area.  “I have no idea how to help, but figured I could at least move stuff into piles.”

“That would be wonderful.  I had no idea we had this much junk.  You should see the attic.”  Maria stopped abruptly.  “On second thought, no, you shouldn’t.  I wouldn’t want you to run screaming in panic just after you’ve offered to help.”

Liz looked around in confusion.  “Where do I start?”

“No, that was my question,” Maria informed her.  “Yours should be ‘This is trash, right?’  That way at least some of this stuff would disappear.”  She looked around glumly and poked a pile of stuff with one finger.

“How about we start like this,” Liz suggested.  “You start packing things you know you want to keep, and give me anything you know you don’t need.”  She reached down and gingerly picked up an old brown furry hat.  “Like this, for instance.”  She stared at it for a second in fascination.  “Whose was this, anyway?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Maria informed her.  “I just found it.  I was not in control of the odd things my mother collected.  Did you know there is an entire set of The A Team collector plates here?  I found them in the guest bedroom.”  Maria rolled her eyes.

“You have got to be kidding,” Liz stated.  She shook her head in amazement.  “Anyway, we need food before we tackle this mess.  Pizza sound ok?”

“Pizza sounds great.  Deep dish and extra cheese.”

Liz grinned, “Well, naturally.”  She turned away to go use the phone in the kitchen.

“Better tell them to bring it around to my window,” Maria called after her.

Forty-five minutes and one confused pizza guy later, Liz and Maria were sprawled out over her bed.  The pizza box stood almost empty between them.

Finally, Maria sighed and flopped over onto her back.  “This feels so weird.”

“What does?”  Liz asked around a mouthful of cheese.  She had sauce on the corner of her mouth that she was unsuccessfully trying to capture with her tongue.

“This!”  Maria’s gesture took in the room, the pizza, and Liz.  “I just keep feeling that any second now my mom is going to pop through that door, yell at us for eating on the bed, and remind me of my history test tomorrow.”  She looked down for a second.  “It just doesn’t seem real that I am sitting here going through my mother’s things.  I keep feeling guilty, like she’s about to catch me reading her diary or something,” Maria admitted.  She stared at the ceiling with a frown.

“I’m sorry, Maria,” Liz said gently.

Maria twisted around and smiled at her.  “It’s ok.  I’ll be ok.”  She sighed.  “I knew she was going to go, I just didn’t know it was going to be this soon after I saw her again.  I always thought we would have more time.”  She studied the stars on her ceiling for a moment.

“Hey Maria?”  Liz’s tone was innocent.

“Yeah?”  Maria asked absently.

Liz just smiled and brought her weapon of choice down on her best friend’s unprotected head with a loud THWACK.

Maria’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.  She scrambled off the bed and into a defensive stance.  “You did not just do that,” she said ominously.

Liz smirked.  “Oh, but I did.”  She held up the pillow threateningly and began to stalk towards Maria.

Maria made a desperate grab for another pillow, and barely ducked a stunning swing by Liz.

In seconds, the room was filled with shrieks, thumps, and laughter.

“In just a second,” Maria panted, “I’m going to come over there and beat you senseless.”  Maria lay half on, half off the bed with her hair in wild disarray.

“You and what army?”  Liz’s voice floated up from where she lay in a heap on the floor beside the bed.

Maria shoved her pillow over the side of the bed, where it landed on Liz.

“Ow,” she remarked.

Maria dragged herself up and shoved her hair out of her face and looked towards the clock.  She squeezed her eyes shut and moaned.  “Great.”

Liz opened one eye lazily.  “What’s your problem?”

“Liz, do you realize it is almost 3 in the afternoon?”  Maria arched an eyebrow and gave her friend a stern look.

“So?”

“Liz, I am leaving tomorrow.  I have approximately 20 hours until I leave. I would like sleep to be included there somewhere.  Have you looked around at this house?”  Maria gestured wildly.

“Crap.”  Liz sat up somewhat reluctantly and looked around.  “Ok,” she said, getting a determined glint in her eyes.  “I think its time to call in reinforcements.”

“Reinforcements?  Why does that idea scare me?”

Liz just smiled.

Within the hour, two Evans’s, two Valenti’s and one Whitman were helping one Parker and one DeLuca sort, pack, and argue.  It was complete chaos.

By midnight, everything was boxed, stored, sold, or stuffed into Maria’s luggage.

She slumped on the floor of the kitchen and gazed around in amazement.  The place was almost bare.  The only things left were Maria’s bed and what she was taking with her.

She had sent Liz and the others home almost a half hour ago.  Liz had been worried, and had wanted to stay, but this was Maria’s last goodbye to the house she grew up in.

She got up and wandered through the empty rooms.  It was like a ghost house.  There was nothing but memories left, not all of them good.

She gathered up the few things of Amy’s that she had wanted to keep with her on the bus, and shoved them in her backpack.  A few pictures, an alien head key chain, and an aromatherapy kit.  Not much.

She opened her notebook, and examined the pictures in there already.  Just two pictures of her daughter’s life, one of them taken before she was put on a ventilator, and the other of her covered in wires and tubes.

She put the pictures of her mother in with the pictures of her daughter, and closed the notebook slowly.

Michael had never come.

Liz was busy giving Maria a list of instructions and advice when they pulled up to the bus station.

“Don’t forget to call me when you get there.  Did I give you my cell phone number?”

Maria rolled her eyes good-naturedly.  “Yes, Liz.  You gave me your cell phone number and the phone number at your apartment.  You even gave me the number at Max’s.  I think I’ll be able to find you without any problems.”

Liz looked a little sheepish.  “I just want to make sure you know how to reach me if you need me.”

“Thanks.”  Maria smiled a little sadly at Liz.  “And you have my address and my phone numbers and everything?”

Liz patted her bag.  “Safe and sound.  Call me when you get there?”

Maria laughed, “Ok, Liz, you have made your point!  I will call you when I get there, ok?”

“Ok.”

Liz and Maria just stood there for a second, looking at each other.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Maria admitted.

“I’ll miss you too.”  Liz looked a little teary.  “You’re leaving, right when I found you again.”

“Oh, Lizzie.”  Maria gave her a hard hug.  “We’ll all be fine.  You have to take care of Alex for me, ok?  See if you can’t get him over his Isabel fetish somehow.”

Liz sniffed and laughed.  “I don’t think that is possible.”

“Then see if you can’t set them up.  Who knows?  Maybe Isabel could really like Alex.”

Liz leaned back and gave Maria an incredulous look.

“What?”  Maria grinned.  “It could happen!”

Liz laughed again.  Sighing, she said, “You better go.”

Maria looked at the bus behind her and nodded.  “Yeah, I guess I better.”

With one final hug, Maria walked off to give her luggage to the driver.  She fought her way through other passengers clustered around the driver’s seat and looked around.

There were many people shoved onto the bus, tripping over each other and talking loudly.

Maria suppressed a grimace as she searched for an empty seat.  Buses were not her favored mode of transportation.  One guy in the back was stretched out over an entire seat, his worn out boots hanging over into the aisle all she could see.  She made a face at the people who made there way to the back only to discover him.  One woman was glaring at the boots and complaining about the lack of respect kids had now a days.

Maria finally located a seat all to herself close to the middle of the bus.  She tossed her backpack up into the luggage rack and climbed over to the window seat.  She pressed her nose to the window and waved frantically to Liz, trying to catch her attention.

Liz caught sight of her and waved back.  “Call me!”  She mouthed.

Maria laughed and nodded her acknowledgment.

With a puff of smoke and the hiss of the brakes, the bus pulled out of the station.

Maria waved to Liz until the bus station disappeared behind her.

Michael watched the bus leave the station, looking after it long after it was gone.

There were not many people around.  There was a family welcoming a daughter back home, their excited voices carrying in the quiet.  There were a few other people waiting on benches.  One man looked to be asleep, using his jacket as a pillow.  Another woman was crying quietly as she clutched a shopping bag to her chest.

Michael decided he was hungry and went to find a vending machine.  He absently selected a couple of candy bars and a large soft drink.

Then he wandered outside to find his ride home.

Michael stared down at the green grass in the cemetery.  “I know I shouldn’t have come here to talk to you.  It’s probably a dumb idea.”  He shuffled his feet self consciously, almost knocking over the small bundle at his feet.

He shrugged and looked directly at the grave.  “I just…I wanted to say I’m sorry.  I know that this doesn’t help now, but it needed to be said.”

He was silent for a second.  “You see, she scared me,” he admitted.  “I was terrified of her, of being connected to her.”  He shook his head.  “You can probably understand that.  You were connected to her too.  And you know she doesn’t take relationships lightly.”

He chuckled then.  “You should’ve seen her then.  She never let me get away with anything.  She was always calling me on whatever it was I was doing.”

He picked up the bundle at his feet.  “I know we really didn’t get a chance to know each other.”  He looked down at the bouquet of flowers that were precariously leaning against the headstone.  “I think we would have really liked each other.  At least, I hope we would have.  I’m not really sure.”

He cleared his throat nervously and offered, “I brought you something.  It’s not much, but I thought you might like it.”  He unwrapped the small package and showed it to the headstone.

“I can’t help but wish that things were different.”  He crossed his arms across his chest uncomfortably.  “I’m not sure what happens now.  I’m not sure what to expect to happen now.  I guess I’ll be back to sleeping on couches now that I’m out an apartment.”

Michael stared into the air for a while.  When he spoke this time, his voice was very gentle.  “I’m going to try and not screw up this time.  I’m not sure what there is still between us, but I think it could be a good thing.”

He hunkered down beside the grave and traced his fingers over the letters.  “I’ve never had a family before.”  His voice was shy and uncertain.  “I hope that you won’t mind if I come and visit sometimes.”

Michael leaned forward and rested the teddy bear beside his daughter’s tiny grave.  He spent a minute fussing with the placement of the bear and the daisies he had brought for her.

For another moment, he looked at the headstone, remembering all that Maria had shown him about their little girl.

“Goodbye.”

He brushed his fingers over her name again.  Then, abruptly he stood.  “I’ll be back soon, Allison.  I promise.”

Then he turned and began to walk towards the bench where Maria was patiently waiting for him.  He closed his eyes for a second when he reached her.  She looked up at him, her eyes suspiciously bright.  He took a deep breath and offered her his hand.

Walking closely together, but carefully not touching, they left the cemetery where their daughter rested.

Later this evening, they might go out and get some dinner, probably at the Denny’s down the street from the apartment.  And then, they will go home.  Together.  Where they will bicker over what to watch on TV, and what to make for breakfast.  And where they can slowly get to know each other again.
 

THE END